Frazer Harrison/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
I find it kind of strange. This past August, you were talking about the Jonas Brothers and you mentioned that as far as their "goody-two-shoes" image was concerned, you had your eye on Joe and that Nick was a bad boy waiting to emerge, alluding to the fact that they weren't as innocent as they seemed. Now, this past October, you seem to have changed your tune, recently saying that the Jonas Brothers are "as goody-two-shoes as they seem, at least when it comes to those purity rings." So which is it really? Are they good boys with hidden bad-boy tendencies, or are they really as wholesome and innocent as they want us to believe?
—Jenny
Dear Ho-Bro:
Depends which brother you're asking about. One is about as far off from a goody-goody as you can imagine.
Dear Ted:
If I sent you a new vampire storyline, what would you do with it?
—Shaft
Dear Fangbanger:
Please elaborate, darling.
Dear Ted:
Not good to compare Chris Brown vs. Rihanna to Nicole Kidman. Chris Brown committed the act of violence himself, and Nicole Kidman did not. I agree that it would have been wise for her to address the issue, but the security guard acted of his own free will, and he did it either as an independent contractor for her or while under the employ of a security agency. It probably was a legal choice on her part, like it or not.
—CCCool
Dear So Diplomatic:
What, are you like a rational thinker or something?
Dear Ted:
So Ted, is your Twi source related to, employed by or do they work with someone related to, employed by Robsten? Can you give us this much?
—K
Dear We Have More Than One:
But just because you asked so nicely—employed by. And we don't mean Robsten employs our sources.
Dear Ted:
I used to be a Lindsay Lohan fan, but things change. I was wondering if her career ever got back on track, would any of her fans come back? Would she still have a chance if she figured out whether she was straight or lesbian and if she quit her partying? Or would everyone be waiting for a fall back everyday?
—Me
Dear Too Little, Too Late:
Everyone loves a comeback—Hollywood especially, just ask Mickey Rourke. But right now, Linds has zero chance at a major fan or career comeback. Hate to say it, but at this point L.L. isn't gonna make it anywhere. Except to oblivion.
Dear Ted:
Hi from Sweden! I've just fallen in love with Gerard Butler—you think you could help me hook up with him? You think he'd like me, a brunette petite Swedish nurse?
—Andrea
Dear Hey, Butler:
Honey, you could catch him with your eyes closed. But you might be catching something else, too.
Dear Ted:
Love the column! I was just wondering...what's with the separate press for New Moon? Everything I'm reading says that Rob, Kristen and Taylor will be promoting the movie on the same shows but on different days. What gives? Don't they want the fans to see the chemistry between the actors? Thanks for keeping it awfully true!
—Robsten Fan
Dear Divide and Conquer:
I think they'd rather not have you see the Robsten chemistry, and want you to see Kristen-Taylor faux-chemistry. That's why those two will be doing some press together. The studio's nervous this second flick isn't enough about R.Pattz.
Dear Ted:
Tedster! If you were going to a costume party this Halloween, which Blind Vice would you go as? I definitely don't see you as Toothy, but could you handle Crotch-uh Lastic? (Hehhehheh—I'll just bet you could!)
—Suze-Q
Dear Letter of the Day:
Since I'm stupidly smoking again, you know, engaging in crap that isn't good for me, Morgan Mayem, of course.
Dear Ted:
I'm a really big fan of Seth MacFarlane. Can you tell me more about him? Is there any gossip about him?
—Grace
Dear Duh:
And you've already read about it—prob just didn't know it at the time.
Dear Ted:
What's with Kristen Stewart and knitting? She's been snapped on the set of Eclipse knitting (in the car with Robert), and in the latest pap pics at the airport, you can see knitting needles sticking out her bag! What's with a 19-year-old knitting? LOL, unheard of, Ted. Get the scoop, please. Whose booties is she knitting—Renesmee?
—Nik
Dear No Biggie:
Can't the girl relieve a little tension through her hands? Let's cut K.Stew a break and not analyze everything she does. Sheesh.
Dear Ted:
It's an ideal world where every one of your gay or bisexual Blind Vices have come proudly out of the closet. Who is Middle America most surprised about?
—Radha
Dear Yeah, Right:
Just because I grew up in Texas doesn't mean I'm an idiot.
Dear Ted:
You're an honest man. Keep it up...just a little longer...if billions of girls/guys were not swooning over Robert Pattinson, would you give a damn about him? If Twilight bombed at the box office, would you give a damn about the movie?
—Y
Dear Fair Enough:
Yes. Because R.Pattz cuts through the BS like a good little rebel. Plus, his hair is an eternal mess. Yum!
Dear Ted:
What's the deal with Hilary Duff's weight? One minute she's hot and toned, the next she looks like a football player. And are she and that loser of a hockey player BF for real? 'Cause she could do way better.
—Y2
Dear Hard to Tell:
If you're a Duff fan or not...but as for her weight, I'd prefer her to be a normal gal who fluctuates to these Hollywood stick figures that so often hunch down the red carpet.
Dear Ted:
Every single time I see a picture of Taylor Swift, I feel like I need an insulin shot. Is she really as sweet as she appears?
—Bubbly
Dear Sometimes:
But a goody-goody doesn't shack up with a werewolf! Plus, we hear Taylor isn't all innocent—we love this couple together.