Robsten Fanfic Competition: People vs. OK!

The two magazines compete over who can write the best Rob Pattinson-Kristen Stewart love story

By Jennifer Cady Oct 15, 2009 5:55 PMTags
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Double New Moon covers this week! And both feature Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart!

People's Special New Moon Collector's Edition Extravaganza Party Issue is mostly about the upcoming film, but they do manage to sneak in a little Robsten fanfic. How could they not?

Meanwhile, OK! isn't ashamed to let all their Robsten fanfic hang out right there on the cover. "All the intimate details about our life at home," the headline reads. Yes, this is first-person, like Rob and Kristen are really saying this. And, no, the magazine never talks to them.

So whose fanfic about the maybe lovers is best?

For their Robsten article, People largely repurposes year-old unaccredited Entertainment Weekly and Comic-Con quotes to rehash the story of Rob and Kristen becoming a couple—even though the mag never legitimately confirms the union. And let's face it, their nonstory is pretty much common knowledge to anyone that reads our Awful Truth column:

  • Rob jokingly proposed to Kristen several times on the Twilight set
  • Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke cast them because of their chemistry
  • Rob had a fling with Nikki Reed
  • Rob and Kristen love music, hate Hollywood
  • They hang out in Vancouver off-set
  • Then there's some anecdote Hardwicke told at 2008's Comic-Con about Rob getting passionate during a kissing scene and falling off the bed. According to People, that "told her everything she needed to know."

Moving on to OK!: This is where things get fun, as the tabloid gets supercreative describing Rob and Kristen's "love nest" in the Sheraton Vancouver Wall Centre. Some of the more awesome made-up quotes:

  • "Rob and Kristen sleep in a king-size bed, gaze out from floor-to-ceiling windows at the stunning Vancouver skyline, microwave Rob's beloved Hot Pockets in one of three full kitchens..."
  • "At night, the movie buffs watch DVDs on a large flat-screen—if not a contemporary flick then perhaps an old standby."
  • "Their rooms contain no fewer than six natural-gas fireplaces, in front of which Rob serenades Kristen with Van Morrison and John Lee Hooker tunes...and Kristen reads aloud from the volume of Virgil's Doomed Love that he gave her this past year."
  • "They sleep on and off all day, and cuddle."
  • "'They love to play little games together, like outrunning the paparazzi,' a source tells OK!. 'One night when they got into the hotel elevator, they were laughing so hard! Kristen collapsed onto his chest, and he rubbed her head.' Then they ascended to their celestial nest and left the real world behind."

The most believable part of the whole thing is that Rob loves Hot Pockets. He seems like a Hot Pockets sort of guy, but other than that, it's mostly just a fun read. We can't decide which is best: Kristen reading Virgil in front of the fireplace or the "ascended to their celestial nest" bit.

You know it's just a matter of time before OK! reveals how Rob and Kristen have shared their very special wedding plans.

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