Whatever you're drinking, honey, I want some of that!
Is Britney Spears really that sweet, kind, loving person everyone gushes about? Or is she a major diva protected by good PR? I've never read one single bad thing about her in terms of treating people badly. Everyone she works with says she's a sweetheart. Does she really just have an amazing team, or is she as kind and sweet as everyone seems to think?
Dear B.Spears Craze:
I'm sure there are times when Brit returns to that Southern belle sweetheart we once knew. She's hardly a Jennifer Garner, or something. Think about it—what PR team is that good when their client is able to go bald and beat paparazzi with umbrellas?
I read somewhere that either the director or someone on set of Walk the Line said that Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix fell in love during filming. Any truth to these rumors, and do they still talk? Big, big hug to you from across the ocean!
Dear Great Question:
Is that why Joaquin went off the deep end? Nah, probably not—even she isn't the sweet fix he constantly needs.
David Letterman recently graced the covers with all his celebrity "pals" defending him. Um, did they miss the part where David was and is in a super long-term relationship? What about the poor wifey? Did everybody suddenly forget about her? I would take back all my words if this quasi-wedding of theirs was an open relationship, but until then, nobody puts the women in the corner! Of course, the power-Hollywood males could get away with this with their pals defending their actions!
Dear Time and Again:
Same s--t, different day.
I'm sure you won't stay single long (not that there is anything wrong with that if that's what you desire!). Please settle a bet. We've noticed that Austin Nichols has some stubble on his face. So tell us...would you say he has a "beard" or not?
Dear Growing Pains:
Hard to say—I don't grow them.
I can't believe I'm writing this, but I just realized Paris Hilton has barely been in the news or the gossip columns. Has her infamy been replaced with Kate and Jon and Octomom, or is she finally moving on to other things? If the Twi-obsession is what it takes so that I don't have to read about Paris every week, then I will suffer happily.
Dear Peace Out Paris:
To be honest, she's pretty boring nowadays that she's totally lovey-dovey with herself in guy form, Doug Reinhardt. There's better news out there for us to report and for you to read.
I really don't want to believe Gwyneth Paltrow is a bitch. I can totally see her as Connecticut-type snobby, but a bitch? Say it ain't so!
Dear Pouting Paltrow:
Believe it, sorry. And if anything, she's still a bitch for naming her daughter after a freakin' fruit.
I find it really funny that you so dislike Jen Garner but somehow she seems to always have these great, precious photos with her family in E! Online's The Big Picture. Does the web editor have to settle disputes amongst E! staffers as to content?
Dear Politics Schmolitics:
We never said she didn't give great face.
I've been following you since the days when you were posting on Thursdays only. Always loved your angle and agreed with you, with the exception of your standing on Perez vs. Black Eyed Peas. Deep inside your heart you know you were wrong on that matter, correct? :) Anyhow... thanks for your blurb on The Prez. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who didn't fall under the spell of this teleprompter-dependant man called Obama. In all honesty, what the heck has he ever done? Even before his presidency? Even now? What about the significant increase in the number of troops sent off to war?? And people are still enamored of him like they've been hypnotized. You have my respect, Ted!
Don't understand him. He needs to start realizing he's the president and not another Hollywood celebrity, and help out his country.
Gotta few inquiries about Dumbo Pecs. You mentioned Slink-a-Rella wasn't his first choice for marriage. Did he or does he continue to contact his "first choice"? Wonder what his first choice thinks of this. What, if anything, have you heard from her camp? She's probably better off to have him out of her life. My thought is, he was truly in love with the first one, but as you said, picked the second to further his career. Oh, stupid ass Dumbo.
Dear Big and the Beautiful:
This man doesn't know what the ef he wants; hence, his Dumbo moniker.
If Michael Angarano was a household name, would people (yes, you too, Ted) be singing a different tune on the whole Robsten thing? Thanks and much love.
Dear Good Question:
Hate to say it—but probably. Only because M.A.'s public visibility would be a reminder that he was ditched for a hotter dude…not that anyone can blame Kristen at this point. Only thing that makes it not as bad is that it's not like these kids are married or anything. They're kids. How many boyfriends and girlfriends did you go through till you found one for keeps?
Haven't heard about Nevis in a while. What's the sitch? Anything new to dish about? With that in mind, I offer up a guess: Gael García Bernal. Close?
Dear Diddling Nevis:
That's not a coincidence, he's been keeping a low profile.
Bitchy and witty is everything I am, and love to read (even if my literature-lovin' heart sees gossip blolumns as an affront to literacy)—so I love reading you. I save you for Sunday mornings to spend hours catching up on the Awful week! After years of reading, I finally speak. I think Dumbo Pecs is neither RyRy, Marc or Odom (no faltering career, shudderingly skinny, not yet legally married, respectively). I'm gonna throw out Tom Brady ("pro" career laggin' cuz of injury) or Josh Duhamel. Their spouses both are known for delish curves, front and back...am I even close?! Love ya.
Dear Random Guesses:
Pretty far off, save the rear-end part. Think less established, slightly.
What is Raven Symone up to?
Dear Raving about Raven:
Who cares? She's a boring Disney sellout.
Everyone needs to leave that beautiful little girl of Brangelina's alone. Who cares that she's dressed up like a pirate one day! She' a baby for God's sake! When I was a little girl, I liked to pretend like I was G.I. Joe one day and Wonder Woman the next. Today, I'm a completely normal person/wife/mother. I think we as human beings and responsible parents really need to quit shoving these stereotypical roles down our kids' throats. And maybe, just maybe, they won't need therapy when they grow up!
Dear Sticking Up for Shiloh:
You're right, she's a kid and kids like to dress up in all sorts of costumes. We're picking more on Brangelina and their interesting hidden hobbies. Either way, the poor girl is going to end up in therapy due to her being out in the spotlight since birth.