Jon Gosselin is invited to the party, but he's not on the list for after-hours.
The possibly litigious reality-TV star claims that Kate Gosselin is trying to alter their joint-custody agreement so that she doesn't have to see him on their twin daughters' 9th birthday.
Jon told Entertainment Tonight that Kate has requested he come to their Pennsylvania home for Mady and Cara's birthday party from 4-6 p.m.—and then skedaddle.
"Due to recent events, it will be too stressful to the kids to have both of us here as planned. I would like to split the evening so they can see us both," Kate, who is perhaps still smarting from—among other things—being escorted off the property by law enforcement, wrote in an email to Jon.
"It's an all-out battle," he said, referring to the current state of their relationship. The father of eight said last week that he hadn't talked to his future ex-wife in weeks, and the ice obviously didn't thaw when Jon demanded that TLC stop production on the newly named Kate Plus 8, all of a sudden saying it was unhealthy for the children.
"She's trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on their birthday because she doesn't want to see me," Jon said. "She doesn't want to hear my apology. She doesn't want to work things out."
And in keeping with his latest resolution, the whole "I have to be a man" thing, Jon added:
"She's trying to prevent me from seeing my kids on Mady and Cara's birthday. That's like giving her full custody by obeying her. She can't tell me what to do. I'm not going to allow it. I'm just going to stay. I own the house so I can do what I want."
The Answer B!tch has an idea—six of 'em, actually—for how to make Jon Gosselin go away.