Enough about the other woman—or women, as it turns out. David Letterman now needs to turn his attention to the woman.
The Late Show host, who launched a thousand editorials last week about sex in the workplace, comic timing and big, fat egos when he revealed that past indiscretions had come back to haunt him in the form of an extortion plot, has finally offered up a public apology to his partner of 23 years, wife Regina Lasko.
During tonight's taping, Letterman admits that she has been "horribly hurt" by his actions, and that he has his work cut out for for him to patch things up at home.
Of course, first he joked that he got into his car this morning and "the navigation lady wasn't speaking to me."
"There's a possibility that I'll be the first talk show host impeached," he continued. "It's fall here in New York City, and I spent the whole weekend raking my hate mail. It's cold, too—chilly outside, chilly inside my house."
Letterman then mock-started making cracks about Bill Clinton, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and Eliot Spitzer (apparently they all have something in common), stopping himself every time.
"This is only phase one of the scandal," he reminded the audience. "Phase two, next week I go on Oprah and sob."
"Now the other thing is my wife, Regina," the 62-year-old funnyman, who swapped vows with Lasko in March, said Monday after first apologizing to his staff for all the unwanted attention.
"She has been horribly hurt by my behavior, and when something happens like that, if you hurt a person and it's your responsibility, you try to fix it.
"And at that point, there's only two things that can happen," he continued. "Either you're going to make some progress and get it fixed, or you're going to fall short and perhaps not get it fixed, so let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me."
So it would seem. The couple have a 5-year-old son, Harry, and are also currently pregnant with issues.
It has been revealed that Letterman had an intimate relationship with former Late Show assistant Stephanie Birkitt and that pages of her diary were among the heat alleged extortionist Robert Halderman was packing when he demanded $2 million from Letterman in exchange for his silence about this and other affairs.
Halderman pleaded not guilty Friday to attempted grand larceny and was freed from custody on $200,000 bail.
"I'm terribly sorry that I put the staff in that position," Letterman also said tonight. "Inadvertently, I just wasn't thinking ahead. And moreover, the staff here has been wonderfully supportive to me, not just through this furor, but through all the years that we've been on television and especially all the years here at CBS, so, again, my thanks to the staff for, once again, putting up with something stupid I've gotten myself involved in."
Speaking of which, he concluded with this peace offering:
"Also," he added, "what can it hurt? Once again I'd like to apologize to the former governor of Alaska. Sarah Palin, I'm terribly, terribly sorry.
(Originally published Oct. 5, 2009, at 3:51 p.m. PT)
What a tangled web they've weaved...Check out what Halderman's lawyer has had to say about Dave and his client right here.