Don't Call Russell Fat Unless You Wanna Eat Crowe

Aussie actor challenges gossip columnist to Sydney-wide bike ride after she chides his cigarettes-and-fast-food fitness regime

This is what you call a good sport. (Demi Moore and Perez Hilton, grab a pencil and start taking notes.)

Russell Crowe, not exactly renowned for his loving relationship with the media, fought back at an Australian gossip hound's less than complimentary take on his workout regimen after photos appeared of him this week supplementing his regular 13-mile bike ride with smoke breaks and tacos.

So what did he do? He didn't throw a phone, write a poem or start a Twitter war (ahem). He simply challenged Judgy McColumnist to accompany him, video camera in tow, on one of his rides.

"Get on your bike," his spokesman told her. "Russell wants you to go riding with him. Are you ready to die?"

The answer, apparently, was yes.

Proving herself equally game, if not keen on the international publicity such an outing could and has provided, the Daily Telegraph's Sydney Confidential columnist Annette Sharp strapped on a helmet, donned some Crowe-approved sports gear and prepared to eat some humble pie (and, as it turns out, pavement).

A gentleman to the end, the ride ended with the Aussie A-lister praising the cycling skills of his protégé—at least in comparison to another one of his bike buddies.

"Baz holds the record for being the worst cycling tourist we've ever taken for a ride," he said. "You are twice the man Baz Luhrmann is…on a bicycle. I don't know how you'd be on a film set."

Ah, there's the Russell we know and fear love.