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    Bitch-Back! True Blood Takes a Bite in Real Life

    Alexander Skarsgard, True Blood HBO/Jaimie Trueblood

    Dear Ted:
    A couple of weeks ago you were talking about how "professional" Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin are on the set. Now you're feeding into the Eric/Alexander Skarsgård fan frenzy of how their relationship will affect the direction of the show? What's up with that? I love Bill and Sookie together, but I will take Bill and a different woman as long as I get my Bill fix. Stephen is hotness.
    Bobbi 

    Dear True Lies:
    For your True Blood fix, I suggest you head over to Watch With Kristen—they can tell you more about the actual show than I can. Surely the question of how the engagement will affect T.B. has crossed your mind? What if Stephen starts to get uncomfortable should Anna be sticking her tongue down hotass Alexander's throat? No one wants to watch their wife do that! 

    Dear Ted:
    These Robsten fans have to stop hating on Megan Fox. The girl was totally cute giving her speech at the Teen Choice Awards, and if she didn't have fans, how the hell did she win Teen Choice Hottie and Actress? I'm all up for Robsten, but Megan and Robert Pattinson looked sexy together. Can we get them into a movie together?
    Jillian 

    Dear Protect the Fox:
    Agreed there, sweetheart. You know we have a soft spot for that wily temptress. When Robsten isn't involved, that is. But no worries. Since Rob has already dissed her, Meg isn't Kristen's competition. 

    Dear Ted:
    Check out the photos on Popsugar of the Twilight gang. Nikki Reed is staring at Rob in every photo. Poor Paris Latsis. Doesn't he know he's just another tool in her belt? Good thing Rob's doesn't return her looks. I'd be seriously ill. Noticed you never answered my question about Deep Twi. Hmmmm...that says a lot, babe.
    H

    Dear Not-So Longing for Robki:
    We'll actually give Nik the benefit of the doubt and say that the looks were just 'cause he was the one talking. Call it wishful thinking, but we're pretty sure N.R. is steering clear of any Robsten drama...for now. And refresh my memory about Deep Twi

    Dear Ted:
    Why are all your gay Blind Vices about young pretty boy actors?
    socky 

    Dear Why Not:
    Because the hottest ones are always the ones you can't have. Isn't life just totally fair like that? (And for the record, remember Lloyd Boy-Toyed? He's definitely not one of the youngsters, babe.)

    Dear Ted:
    Why doesn't everyone leave Jen Aniston alone? What she went through with Brad Pitt would have put anyone in a vulnerable position. Just like Heather Locklear and her "so-called" best friend.
    J.J.

    Dear Bennifer, the Original:
    Because sometimes Jen just asks for it! Especially with the men she picks. But right now, I'm all about her semi-low dating profile—means she might actually find a guy for keeps. 

    Dear Ted:
    Ashley Greene
    is quite interesting, huh? I mean, nude pictures and Chace Crawford (whose taste for babes is way mysterious) in the same week? Make us wonder...
    J-Rod 

    Dear Lost in Thought:
    Do finish that sentence dollface. If she'd really wanted to make headlines, the guy in the back of her limo would have been Robert Pattinson. Not that he would have obliged much. 

    Dear Ted:
    This is for all of the Twi haters: You're not the only ones who read Ted's column. Back off! For the 10 haters out there, there are thousands of us who look forward to Ted's steamy comments about R.Pattz and all of his deliciousness. So if you don't want to read about it, then don't. (Not that you'll find a gossip column that isn't talking about Twilight). But Ted has plenty more to offer. And to you, Ted: Keep the Rob and Robsten stuff coming. I love it all!

    Dear Fansten:
    You put the light in my Twilight, dear. Surely there's plenty of room for hards and haters in this blolum.

    Dear Ted:
    Why is no one mentioning Jenna Dewan-Tatum's very obvious nose job?! It's so terrible! Additionally, I am a straight girl and I happen to like Megan Fox...not love her, just like her. She's gorgeous and puckish, and I quite like it. I feel like she nails the vibe K.Stew is going for. K.S. just tries too hard! Look at me, I'm wearing Converse...with a dress! I'm such a maverick!
    Beebers 

    Dear If the Shoe Fits:
    That was ballsy of you to say in this blolumn. I think Meg and Kristen satisfy very different needs—aesthetically and personality wise. Rob clearly prefers one over the other! 

    Dear Ted:
    I have some thoughts about why some of these actors don't come out. I believe they feel they won't sell as male leads in a romantic role. As a romantic lead, they are selling a fantasy to the female audience. But I feel that it's all about your acting ability. My mother fell in love with Rock Hudson and Montgomery Clift back in the day. Although they were forced into the closet, I look at their performances today, and I am utterly enthralled. Their sexual orientations don't change anything in my opinion. They are so handsome and so mesmerizing as leading men—they sure get me goin'. Perhaps these newer lead actors should try having more confidence in their charisma and talent. What do you think?
    Always an Advocate, the teacher in Burbank 

    Dear Closet Cases:
    Too true, sweetcakes. But that was also back when everyone on the A-list starred with everyone else in everything. Nowadays, if you don't fulfill that perfect Hollywood image, you're replaced faster than you can say fagola.

    Dear Ted:
    How does Doug Reinhardt afford to rent an island in Fiji for Paris Hilton? Does he even have a job?
    Belinda

    Dear Doug Bag:
    You'd be surprised how much money you can pull from dating heiresses and being an all-around reality-show deadbeat. 

    Dear Ted:
    Ted, I'm so friggin' happy 'cause the Michael Angarano pictures with another girl confirm a lot of things. I always trusted you about Robsten. Summit needed a distraction, so it's great that their eyes are looking into Vancouver. Do you think that Robsten are happy and relaxed because they are far away from everyone involved with the franchise?
    Ellen

    Dear Oregano Observant:
    Of course Robsten's happy—they've just pissed off their handlers like no other (and trust, Summit is very, very pissed off). 

    Dear Ted:
    Paris Hilton will be guest starring on Supernatural. I remember Jensen Ackles not being very nice to her in a recent interview. Any thoughts? Should I be worried? Should I expect to see paparazzi pictures of her making out with Jensen or Jared Padalecki?
    Pamela 

    Dear Don't Put It Past Paris:
    Today's lesson: Never write "should I expect" and "Paris Hilton" in the same question. The answer will always be no. 

    Dear Ted:
    Where are the Swedish meatballs you promised us on Alexander Skarsgård? We're waiting, and we're very hungry...
    Skarsgirl 

    Dear IKEA:
    Sorry, we fed them to Ryan Kwanten instead. And then watched him do push-ups to work them off.

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