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    Topless 50-Plus Sharon Stone: Screw You, Ageists!

    Sharon Stone, Paris Match Magazine Cover Paris Match Magazine

    Sharon Stone knows how to stay quasi-relevant, I'll give her that much. At 51, the Oscar-nominated actress had the guts to pose topless in a raunchy leather getup for France's Paris Match.

    And if that superslim crotch area looks familiar, remember she showed it all in Basic Instinct. That, of course, was also a great stunt the now mom-to-three pulled off to notorious, winning reviews.

    Think Paula Abdul and Nicollette Sheridan would still have their jobs if they knew how to strut, strip and shape their bods as Stone shows she still can? Let's get real, here. Older gals in H'wood are totally screwed, especially with...

    ...guys like Simon Cowell, who will prob be getting billions to stay at American Idol, while Paula was essentially offered cab fare (of course, it was nice friggin' cab fare—reportedly she was offered a 30 percent raise over her existing $4 million paycheck to remain on the white-hot talent show).

    Regardless, Abdul should have accepted it, really, and cleaned up her physical act as Sharon's done. I imagine Paula's negotiating power would have been quite different had she hit the gym instead of the pity party Twitter boards.

    Let's get real:

    Paula and Nicollette made it harder on themselves by becoming increasingly troublesome to deal with off the set (admittedly, Stone's no walk in the park either). And pop star Abdul had become a near joke of quirky behavior, slurred speeches and glassy-eyed wanderings. Could you imagine if Abdul sat at Idol's judges table looking like Stone does in Paris Match, instead of immersing herself in jangling bracelets, green eye shadow and vapid comments?

    Nobody would ever talk about Simon's boring T-shirts again!

    My point is Sharon Stone's never really pretended to be much more than what she is: a moderately talented, sexy actress who has trouble keeping men in her life. (So does Paula!) So, P, why not go off and do a fab kinky nude shoot for Vogue or Vanity Fair, instead of lip-syncing to an unfortunate new song you've recorded. In other words, shock, like Sharon, instead of boring us with yet more weirdness. It's totally more fun to watch, girl.

    And remember, we're kind of laughing with Sharon at her latest cougar bares-all-stunt, not at her. And something tells me Paula ain't laughing right now. Life's too short not to, babe.

    Also, Paula, I still think you should take over The View. Why the hell not?

    ________

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