Who's Megan Fox? Is she, like, popular or something?
We know all about Megan Fox. We know so much about the Tennessee-born model turned Angelina Jolie aspirant, in fact, that we were shocked—shocked!—to learn the Transformers actress has been accused of being overexposed.
Megan Fox is underexposed. And the reasons why are as plain as that tattoo about butterflies above her right shoulder blade...
1. Michael Jackson Is Overexposed: By this we mean, if you're going to accuse somebody of being overexposed then get your definitions straight.
To that end, we called up journalist Eliot Tiegel, author of Overexposed: The Price of Fame—The Troubles of Britney, Lindsay, Paris and Nicole.
"To me, somebody who's overexposed is constantly, constantly covered in every form of the media for a long period of time," Tiegel says.
Like Michael Jackson?
Yes, like Michael Jackson.
Especially like coverage of dead Michael Jackson.
"It just goes on and on and on," Tiegel says.
If Megan Fox goes on and on for you, then that's your fault for downloading so many pictures, but as far as the outside-your-bedroom world is concerned, we're not talking about a woman who's getting her own hour on Larry King.
2. She's No Paris Hilton: While it's one thing to not be as big as dead Michael Jackson—that is one impossibly tall order—the numbers show Fox isn't even as big as living Paris Hilton, a long five years past the socialite's sex-tape breakthrough.
According to Forbes' latest rundown of the most overexposed celebrities, which relies on E-Poll Market Research data, Hilton is the No. 1 overexposed celebrity, reigning over the usual high-profile suspects such as Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus.
3. She's Not Even Bigger Than Tiger Woods' Fart: Yesterday, the day before "A Day Without Megan Fox Day" on leading mens' sites, do you know what was a genuinely hot celebrity topic, per Google Trends?
Tiger Woods' reputed passing of gas at a weekend golf tournament.
Before the ban began, Fox, costar of the year's top-grossing movie, wasn't even among the Top 100 most-searched subjects.
4. She Doesn't Pass the Knish Test: When you're overexposed, you're practically a public nuisance. "You're somebody who went to a delicatessen to buy a knish," Tiegel says, "and there were 47 paparazzi chasing them."
According to Tiegel, that's Jon and Kate Gosselin territory; that's not Megan Fox territory.
Says Tiegel of Fox: "I think her story is to be continued."
Classic underexposed territory.
5. Her Nude Photos Aren't All That: The moment Fox might've turned into Paris Hilton was the moment when topless photos of her from the Jennifer Body's set were leaked.
One scandal-in-the-making problem: While Fox was topless, as in she wasn't wearing a top, she wasn't exposed, as in naked.
"I had booby stickers on," Fox told Entertainment Weekly. "If I'd been actually topless, I would have sued someone."
And if she'd sued someone, she would've had to go to court, where, if the testimony was juicy enough, and the pictures naked enough, she would've had 47 papapazzi chasing her into the deli in nothing flat.
But she didn't. And they're not.
In the end, Megan Fox is just a fully clothed gal trying to make her way in Hollywood. How she's gotten this far being so underexposed really is a wonder.
If not a testament to her artistry.
Expose yourself to more Megan Fox in our Many Moods of Megan Fox photo gallery!