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Our throats are all sore from shrieking at Robert Pattinson with all the Twi-girls and our light sabers hardly have enough juice to challenge a Sith Lord to a decent duel. And yet we still have just enough energy left to tell you all about the best parts of Comic-Con 2009.
Here are the most incredible, explosive things we learned about stars, movies and, gulp, some of your mothers:
• Be nice to every Jack Sparrow you meet, because you never know if he's going to be Johnny Depp.
• Kristen Stewart can't wait to get pregnant, while Rob Pattinson aches to perform a high-risk medical procedure to deliver their magical baby. Ah, young love.
• Taylor Lautner is chatty, R.Pattz has one leg shorter than the other and K.Stew needs a hug.
• Two new scenes from New Moon in and we still don't know if we're Team Edward or Team Jacob.
• Botany is the only hope for the future, according to James Cameron's new movie, Avatar. Also, the future seems populated by rubbery, catlike CGI characters.
• Gary Oldman is a gossipy goose! The next Batman will begin shooting in 2010.
• You should fear Josh Brolin. (Megan Fox is just shy.)
• Robert Downey Jr. made a enemy who gave him lip on the set of Sherlock Holmes.
• Michael Keaton has not totally disappeared and will voice the part of Ken Doll in Toy Story 3.
• Peter Jackson's The Hobbit is still waiting to be green lit. In terms of casting, those playing the Middle Earth types will be announced in two agonizing months.
• Some of your moms' minds are in the gutter. Adult married ladies—many with children—pen R-rated Twilight fan fiction that your life-giver is reading right now.
• Iron Man, whose sequel is said to be living up to expectations, may join a boy band of superheroes, but will probably stay solo for at least the next couple of years.
• Think you can handle more? Get all the torrid TV news here!
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