Review in a Hurry: Rodentia and dementia converge in this silly fluff about fluffy, nine-inch super spies trying to thwart global domination. The g pigs might be genetically engineered, but G-Force is built like a squeaky hamster wheel—lots of racing and noise, but really just spins and goes nowhere.
The Bigger Picture: Apparently, producer Jerry Bruckheimer had some Transformers effects left over, so he's dumped them into this busy kiddie pic, with a clanky, clunky climax of household appliances that, yes, transform into killing machines. And so goes this unoriginal actioner for the dog days—or guinea pig days—of summer.
Bill Nighy stars as Saber, an evil electronics mogul—with natty suits and British accent, boo!—who plans to conquer the world with his popular coffee makers and other products. To stop the robot apocalypse, schlubby scientist Ben (Zach Galifianakis) enlists his team of vermin commandos with high-tech gadgetry. All the while, suspicious federal agents in sunglasses are on their literal tails.
The impressive voice cast includes Nicolas Cage, resurrecting his geeky inflections from Peggy Sue Got Married, as well as Tracy Morgan, Sam Rockwell and Penélope Cruz (a Spanish guitar has to play whenever her character's onscreen, argh).
These rodents may be chatty piggies, but their one-liners sadly aren't funny. Perhaps the overbearing, wall-to-wall music is meant to overcompensate for crappy jokes, tired fart gags and broad, boring characters. But not even the Lady Gaga and Black Eyed Peas songs can hippify the flick.
This being Bruckheimer, it's G-Force not G-Farce, so there's less comedy and much more action, with frenetic chase scenes, espionage set pieces and a cool pyrotechnics sequence—ultimately wrapped in a "just believe in yourself" message.
Kids under 10 will probably be entertained or at least distracted for 90 minutes. But for parents dragged to G-Force, may the Force be with you not to claw out your eyes or stuff your ears.
The 180—a Second Opinion: The picture looks a little muddy in 3-D, but the gimmickry still offers eye-poking, squirm-inducing fun, like when the creepy cockroaches get right up in your face.
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