Jon Gosselin's New Kate Quits Star, His Other GF Cries & Michael Lohan Is Still Around

The TLC reality dad publicity stunt is a huge, stinking mess, but we try to sort it out anyway

This Jon Gosselin situation is seriously out of control and just keeps getting dumber by the minute.

Yesterday, we reported that Michael Lohan decided to get in on this because he can never miss a good hot media mess. And really we can't use the word "mess" enough because that's what this is. It's taken all morning to sort it out, so let's see what we got.

OK, so when we last left off, J.Goss and his Star reporter ladyfriend Kate Major were crashing at Lohan's Southampton home. Michael and New Kate have been besties since the reporter landed Lindsay's first postrehab interview, so he wanted to give Jon and New Kate a "quiet break."

So Michael planned a double date for Jon, New Kate, himself and his fiancée Erin Muller, who better not ever leave him. He said it was supposed to be "quiet," and next thing you know Jill Zarin from Real Housewives of New York was there, the Southampton mayor was there, photographers were there.

Nice work, Mike! High-five.

That happened last night, and then this following morning New Kate decides to start talking...

Seems she has fallen for Jon's irresistible charms.

"I didn't mean it to happen, it just did," she said. "I went to do a story on Jon and ended up falling for him." We understand, future Sexiest Man Alive, that Jon.

So what do you do when you fall for America's most eligible bachelor while you're supposed to be writing a feature on him? Let's take a look at Star's website to answer that:

"Star Senior Reporter Kate Major resigned this morning, Thursday, July 23, citing a conflict of interest between her reporting duties for the magazine and her relationship with Jon Gosselin."

"She didn't want to compromise her relationship, so she tendered her resignation," Michael Lohan explained to E! News in case that wasn't obvious enough.

Now where is J.Goss' other supposed girlfriend in all this, that lovable 22-year-old stoner Hailey Glassman (miss you!)? Earlier this week she gushed about Jon's cooking and said, "This is perfect. It just fits."

People decided to call up poor, clueless Hailey and tell her "Yo, you got played!" to which she got all teary and said, "I still love Jon and Jon loves me."

And now we've come to end of this convoluted tale. Good job making it this far because, seriously, what the ef is going on?

It seems like a giant elaborate publicity stunt gone horribly wrong, and really, who is winning here? Clearly America is losing, but there has to be someone benefiting from all this to make it worth it.

—Reporting by Claudia Rosenbaum

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Let's look at some famous people who aren't so frustrating in our Big Pic. Feels so much better now.