Well, she's back.
The Grammy winner's long-pending assault trial kicked off in London court this morning, with a prosecutor arguing that the singer exhibited "unjustifiable violence" when she clocked a photo-seeking dancer during a charity ball last September.
Ever the savvy defendant, an attorney for Winehouse—who incidentally stated her name for the record as Amy Jade Civil—said the singer felt both intimidated and downright scandalized by the clearly drunk attendee.
Apparently, the best defense is to claim offense.
Sherene Flash, whose right eye was the alleged recipient of Winehouse's hook, admitted on the stand that she was possibly a tad "tipsy" that night, but that Winehouse nevertheless had agreed to pose for a photo.
It was when Flash tried to bring an also drunk friend into the photo op that the singer lashed out.
Prosecutor Lyall Thompson best summed up what happened next: "She reacted badly to a polite request."
You gotta love those understated Brits.
"I started crying," Flash said on the stand. "I was shocked. I couldn't open my eye for a while. I was just mainly in shock."
Shock quickly turned to anger, which in turn morphed into phoning police, having Winehouse arrested and attempting, one assumes, to reap a quick legal settlement.
The singer's own account of the encounter is, as expected, quite different.
Winehouse, who pleaded not guilty to the charge, said she was annoyed and intimidated and simply tried to shoo her away.
"I pushed her up, like away. I wanted her away from me," she said. "It was more like an indication of 'leave me alone, I'm scared of you.'"
Winehouse went on to offer up further proof that she did not assault the fan, a tactic to henceforce be known as the beehive defense.
"My hair does make a difference," Winehouse said, explaining that at five-foot-three, she is much too (deceptively) short to have swung at the five-foot-seven Flash.
"I meant to just get her away from me. I was scared. I thought, people are mad these days, people are just rude and mad, or people can't handle their drink."
If ever someone was an authority on that, it's Amy Winehouse. And just in case the singer, whose trial is expected to continue throughout the week, didn't leave enough wreckage in her wake, she left reporters outside the courthouse with one final soundbite, denying that her alleged smacking was an indicator of grander diva behaviors.
"I'm not a Jennifer Lopez," she said.
Music, no doubt, to Lopez's ears.
Tired of hearing about celebrity trainwrecks—even the slightly rehabilitated ones? Check out the flip side of stardom in our Do-Gooder gallery.