With all the drama surrounding Paula Abdul's possible exit from season nine of American Idol (her reps all but confirmed it this weekend), you have to think about what the hell is going to happen to the most popular show in America right now.
Sure, Paula is one troubled little crumbled cookie (and her often disastrous tabloid headlines aren't really lending a hand to the big comeback that she's been talking about for years). But isn't the reason Idol went from OK talent competition to colossal, megaphenom juggernaut partly owed to Paula's oft-zany antics? She was always the unintentional and often parodied comic relief, and that's kept viewers tuning in for almost a decade.
Nobody watched the show for Paula, but she definitely didn't hurt things, either.
Then there's that freshly axed hausfrau in hot pants over on Wisteria Lane. Jeez, what's with all these programs kicking their best bitches to the curb?
When Desperate Housewives canned Nicollette Sheridan last season, the mourning wasn't that overwhelming, but looking ahead to next season, can't you just tell how boring it will be without the snarling Edie Britt to liven things up on the sometimes blah, Waspy show? Where's a lunatic in inappropriate everything when you need her?
Both shows, I say, benefit from the tension that comes with employing a bothered chick whose extracurricular tabloid troubles equal massive viewership. If Kate Gosselin has taught us anything, it's that being cursed in the headlines means being blessed in the ratings. Listen up, execs.