Andrew Eccles/BRAVOWelcome back to Real Housewife of New York Bethenny Frankel's exclusive blog about The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Bethenny's blogging exclusively for E! Online every week, dishing about the craziness that goes down with these Jersey girls. Here's her new installment, for part two of the reunion shows.
Take it away, Bethenny...
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The Jersey runaway train (or in this case Range Rover) has stopped. We've squeezed every last bit of juice out of these girls, and the reunion was lacking for that drama and dirt.
Here's how part two of The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion special went down last night...
Dina was poised and had a "don't complain, don't explain" way about her whether it was to describe her lavish wedding, her wish to spend more time with her daughter or her husband's desire not to be on the show. The only time that she could have been more straightforward would have been to be honest about the fact that her husband despises the idea of the show (not because he wants date-night to be private). Too many people have told me that the show is a huge thorn in his side and is causing a rift between them.
And why, oh why, is it that Bravo housewives feel the need to wax poetic on all of the charity work they do? If we were all that charitable, would we need to validate ourselves by bringing it up?
It was obviously forced for Danielle and Jacqueline to pretend that they are still friends. We all watched captivated as Jacqueline was calmly sitting on the couch waiting for her water to break while she let the other cats fight. There she sat gripping her pregnant belly as if protecting her baby from the toxic environment.
Something didn't sound right about what Jacqueline said about the "misunderstanding." Didn't these ladies seem to have all of their ducks too much in a row? The step-by-step recall of the day's events at the salon seemed rehearsed. And when they were finishing each other sentences I felt like I was watching the makings of a bad alibi on Law & Order.
Caroline broke down and cried, a number of times, and yes we knew she had a big heart. Do I still think she is a hardass? Hell yes! But I don't think the fans will hate her for it like she fears they will.
Danielle, you really have "no idea" what you did to make Caroline cry? Honey, whatever dead body is in your dumpster is starting to rot. You can feel Caroline's desire to spew this colossal, unforgivable secret. We are all dying to know exactly what Danielle did, but I am sure that skeleton won't stay buried away in that closet for long.
Danielle had this calm pathological nature about her that made me feel like she has been schooled in lying. She's learned the hard way that not arguing makes her seem above it all. She has even told me "everyone is entitled to their opinion," as if this instantly diffuses a situation. She cares about herself first, including her daughters, and is basking in this attention regardless of its origin.
The way she endlessly paused and then coyly addressed the Don Johnson rumor was embarrassing. I mean did she really have to milk it that hard? I was asked a question about a celebrity rumor at my reunion, I answered it fast to diffuse it immediately. She's asked about something from back in the '80s and loved giving the cheesy details. Her daughters must be so very proud.
There is something, or many things, not being said because everyone seemed like they were under some kind of gag order. Even with the sex-tape scandal and other recent events, there is definitely more here than meets the eye. This family has been ripped apart and not over a 24-year-old book. Caroline seems fearless, but she is clearly afraid to cross Dina, protecting little sister until the end.
Aside from the continual eye rolling, Teresa was fairly quiet and, for the most part, perplexed. She only really chimed into thank Dina and Caroline for voting her into the "book secret" club.
Dina is the overall winner of the season. Forgiving Danielle was a huge step forward. Now it's up to you Miss Danielle to prove to everyone that you can and have changed. But I for one am not convinced. Like Dina said, "Only time will tell."
In the end, it seems clear to me all of these women, other than Danielle, are being honest and completely true to who they are. Danielle is using this opportunity to air her damp and dirty laundry for her immediate gain. I'd say she's laughing all the way to the bank, but there seem to be very few ways to monetize being a former prostitute. But if anyone can, Danielle, I am sure you will find a way.
So until next season, when I'm guessing, everyone is coming back for another five-car Jersey Turnpike pileup!
OK, who's ready for Atlanta?!
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Bethenny Frankel is the inventor of the Skinnygirl Margarita and author of the New York Times best-seller Naturally Thin, available everywhere books are sold. Information, updates and recipes can be found at www.bethenny.com and www.skinnygirlcocktails.com.