Welcome back to Real Housewife of New York Bethenny Frankel's exclusive blog about The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Bethenny's blogging exclusively for E! Online every week, dishing about the craziness that goes down with these Jersey girls. Here's her new installment, for part one of the reunion shows.
Take it away, Bethenny...
Before I begin, you need to click on the video above to see the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion spoof on Chelsea Lately that aired last night on E! It is beyond hilarious.
Now to the real reunion...
I was shocked that part one of the reunion show last night was so boring. Then I realized that Danielle is only conflict that exists between all these women. If she weren't on the show, everyone would get along beautifully. They must be doing something right, because the ratings rule, but it will be interesting to see if anyone associates with Danielle next season. It is the only way to stir up the pasta pot yet again.
Caroline looked beautiful. Her dress was so pretty and lovely. It was a humorous contradiction to her stern personality. I think Danielle looks better with shorter hair. I also find Dina to be very beautiful.
I agree with the quote from the New York Times that, for the most part, these women were believable, the table flip notwithstanding. I think it was idiotic for Danielle to bring the book to the dinner, not because of its racy contents, but simply because it is idiotic to bring a book to dinner. Everyone kept focusing on the fact that a book about prostitution and drugs shouldn't be brought to a dinner with children. Danielle wasn't going to read passages from the book as though it were Passover or a bedtime story. In fact, Danielle bringing the book to the table was one of the more contrived events of the season. However, it was meant to spark a conversation. Teresa talking about her sex life and the eventual table toss certainly wasn't PG either.
How can I delicately say the following but just to say it? Is Teresa a total moron? "Cleansi-ness?" Dear god, please tell me that English is her second language. I heard her speak Italian to her husband, and if Italian is her first language I would understand this more clearly. It used to be that she had no idea how to utter a grammatically correct sentence, but now she is using words that don't exist. I do agree with her that performing is what her daughter Gia wants. That was illustrated throughout the season. I will reserve my former stage-mom comments.
Regarding the gay comment, it was amusing when Teresa ended up calling people who were offended stupid, then inadvertently called host Andy Cohen stupid. Frankly, Teresa calling anyone stupid is amusing. Her husband probably is a bit homophobic and a bit ignorant. Gay is out of his comfort zone.
Jacqueline is sweet as sugar. She manages to be so likable and entertaining without boring the audience. I also agree that Danielle isn't the sole reason for the discord in that family. I can tell that Caroline isn't very forgiving, and no sins get past her. She is right when she said that ultimately you wake up with your wife. Chris must be sweating bullets.
Caroline hates new people. She illustrated that several times this season. She comes from a place of family and doesn't seem to want any outsiders. She takes this matriarchal tough-guy thing a bit too seriously though. But I get it. I also am one of those people who are very happy with my small, strong circle of people.
Jacqueline's slap story literally felt like a bedtime story. If those eight hours were edited down to that, I can't imagine how boring that day must have been. I think so much damage was done and so much was said during the season that they probably were all stripped of any emotion or fight. How many times can you beat a dead horse? Or in this case a former prostitute/convict.
Then we had some more tough-guy "earn it and I'll respect you" rhetoric from Caroline. She lets us know again that she doesn't like people before she likes them. We get the message. I don't think people are stupid enough to actually think that they have mob ties and go on a reality show. I think that making these tough-guy statements makes people think that Caroline thinks she's a gangster. I definitely don't think Caroline ever meant anything negative about her daughter or her family. She lives for her kids. Her sarcastic comment about her lifelong dream of her son owning a strip club was poignant and amusing. She is a great mother.
I disagree that even if Tamra or Jill lived in Sicily that anyone would think they have mob ties. Some of these Jersey girls really fit that mold. The jobs in construction, the name Teresa, the furniture for cash, the big McMansions, the German shepherd and the best friend of Caroline's who is the former police commissioner who used state money for shady activities. Go figure why these rumors started.
I also love that they all really are housewives and they take pride in running households. This really is the only leg of this franchise that is "housewife authentic."
Check back here, same time, same place for a recap of next week's part two of the reunion of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Bethenny Frankel is the inventor of the Skinnygirl Margarita and author of the New York Times best-seller Naturally Thin, available everywhere books are sold. Information, updates and recipes can be found at www.bethenny.com and www.skinnygirlcocktails.com.