The Hogan family has decided to challenge the Spellings for this week's title of Celebrity Family Best at Being the Worst.
Not that Brooke knows this firsthand; the two haven't spoken much since Linda and Hulk announced their divorce and Linda started dating a 21-year-old. Instead, Brooke is relying on what her gut and people back home tell her.
Brooke's speculations caused Linda's Google alerts to go off, and she did what any loving, caring mother would do in this situation—ordered her people to email Perez about Brooke's boob job...
"Brooke has always had a problem telling the truth. If it is her claim that her breasts are natural or she hasn't been banging the crap out of the pot head $tack for the last 3 years... Brooke 'thinks' [Linda]'s doing drugs is a hypocrisy when her father and $tack are rolling and Smoking joints together in Brooke's recording session, and Brooke knows it."
Fact: You’re a bad mom if you’re not emailing celebrity gossip bloggers about your daughter’s plastic surgery and sexual partners.
Well, now it's Hulk's turn to weigh in on this mess. His lawyers released a statement today defending Brooke and challenging Linda to an I'll-show-you-mine-if-you-show-me-yours drug test:
"Brooke Hogan has spoken out in support of her father only because of her mother's repeated fabricated attacks on him...Linda has refused repeated invitations by Brooke to reconcile and given these recent comments it appears a mother/daughter relationship is impossible at this time. It is sad that Linda Hogan continues to attempt to throw her family under the bus to gain publicity.
In terms of the ongoing divorce suit, Hulk Hogan and his legal team would gladly take Linda up on her offer to submit to a legally supervised drug test and certainly Terry would do the same. We believe the results would speak for themselves and reveal that Linda's idea of a good time would definitely not be appropriate for Mass or a family restaurant."
These Hogans are the best at statement zings. All right, it's Linda up to bat now. How do you zing your way out of a drug test? Stay tuned, we'll probably find out soon.