He may have been all smiles and standing O's at last night's Kris Allen-crowning American Idol finale, but this morning, Simon Cowell was speaking out on this week's other big showdown: ex-girlfriend Terri Seymour versus a female attacker.
Cowell said on Ryan Seacrest's radio show today that his initial reaction to hearing about the incident, in which Idol fan Janice Thibodeaux allegedly approached and attempted to choke Seymour, was that it must be a joke.
Unfortunately, he soon learned it wasn't.
"She called me and, yeah, she was attacked outside," he said of Seymour.
"Literally, a frenzied attack. Nearly strangled."
Thibodeaux was charged today with misdemeanor counts of battery and assault and is set to be arraigned this afternoon.
While the 33-year-old, 200-pound Thibodeaux, who is currently being held on $52,703 bail, claimed yesterday that her attack came in retaliation for Cowell's behavior toward fellow judge Paula Abdul, Cowell offered up a different theory on her motivation.
"Naturally I assumed it was somebody who was jealous," he said, adding that he himself had never met Thibodeaux.
"I don't know, it was just some crazy girl. She's locked up."
As for his ex, with whom he is still exceedingly friendly, Cowell said, "It was bad. I really, really felt sorry for her."
Still, for once, Cowell said he has been able to find a bright spot in the ordeal, albeit one that has to do with his own chivalry.
"You know what? I was there for her, Ryan. That's the important thing."
Thibodeaux is facing a maximum sentence of 18 months in jail and $12,000 in fines if convicted on both charges.
—Additional reporting by Natalie Finn
(Originally published May 21, 2009, at 12:28 p.m. PT)