Don't hate them because they're beautiful. Hate them because they're the most beautiful.
People has unveiled its annual ode to aesthetics, aka its 100 Most Beautiful People list, and, in addition to usual suspects Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, Halle Berry and reigning Sexiest Man Alive Hugh Jackman, some of Hollywood's newest faces made the superficial cut.
The beautiful inside-and-out Christina Applegate scored the double issue's coveted cover for gracefully and publicly making it through her battle with breast cancer and subsequent double mastectomy, which she underplayed as a "rollercoaster of emotions…"
"A part of you is gone," she said. "It's a decision that you made to save your life."
Meanwhile, representing the younger contingent of annual eye candy is Slumdog Millionaire's maybe-couple Freida Pinto and Dev Patel, Twilight's onscreen-only couple (sorry, fanggirls) Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, and at least two of the three Jonas Brothers.
The Disney delegation was once again strong, with box-office champ Zac Efron leading the pack. Joining him in their rightful place among the beautiful people are Nick and Joe Jonas, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato. Also contributing to the fresh-faced brigade are country cuties Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood, and, for the first time, Emmas Watson and Roberts and possible Twilight franchise addition Channing Tatum.
Former Mouse House charge Christina Aguilera also made the cut, posing for her spread with 15-month-old son Max.
And unlike this year's Bachelor, People apparently knew better than to mess with a scorned woman: Rose-ceremony casualty turned Dancing With the Stars frontrunner Melissa Rycroft snagged a pictorial in the issue, as did recently ousted pro dancer Julianne Hough.
Among those grinning and baring their beauty are Jennifer Lopez, Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner, who join Pitt, Jolie, Jackman and Berry in being acknowledged for their megawatt smiles. Perpetual beauty Heidi Klum also made the cut.
Baring a little more than the others are Eva Mendes, Cindy Crawford, Claire Danes, Amanda Bynes, Ciara, American Idol's controversial new judge Kara DioGuardi and the girls of 90210—Jessica Stroup, AnnaLynne McCord, Jessica Lowndes and Shenae Grimes—all of whom readied for their close-up without the aid of makeup.
To prove that beauty isn't only skin deep, the mag also rounded up a list of the nation's biggest comedy crushes, doing their best to equate humor with hotness, leading with Late Night successor and surprising ratings booster Jimmy Fallon.
"Thank god my wife finds a sense of humor attractive, or else I'd be in trouble," he said.
Parks & Recreation double act Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones, 30 Rock force of nature Liz Lemon Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live's Kristen Wiig, Ellen's ladylove Portia De Rossi, Judd Apatow wife and utility player Leslie Mann and E!'s own late-night lovely Chelsea Handler rounded out the list of ha-ha hotties.
Meanwhile, the magazine didn't ignore the nation's Beltway beauties.
Led by first lady Michelle Obama, with an assist from her guns, a group of Washington power players made up People's list of "Barack's Beauties." She was joined by White House Social Secretary Desiree Rogers, Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and White House Chef Sam Kass.
Turning heads and taking names. People's complete rundown of the 2009 100 Most Beautiful People in the World will be available in the magazine's 20th annual issue, but in the meantime, did the rag get it right? Who else should have been included on the list? Leave your picks in the comments.