Steve-O probably won't be having a viewing party when his upcoming documentary about his own addiction and recovery premieres next month on MTV.
"Watching it was horribly unhealthy for me," the former Jackass prankster told me yesterday. "You think that would help keep me sober, you know seeing myself as this raving lunatic...It absolutely triggered these crazy urges to get loaded."
Fortunately, he didn't relapse. Steve-O, 34, has been sober now for 13 months and 13 days. But Steve-O: Demise and Rise, airing May 3, is a no-holds-barred look at his past substance abuse...
For better or worse, Steve-O began documenting his life when he was a teenager with a video camera his father won in a golf tournament. The footage of him whacked out of his mind on coke, booze and inhalants is, at times, brutal.
If we didn't know better, we'd think we were watching a film documenting an addict's slow and very painful ride to death.
The idea for the documentary was Steve-O's. It follows him right up until his first performance on this season's Dancing With the Stars. "I have been in and out of love with this project," he said. "The idea of helping people, sure that's great. But you know, I don't want to be a role model."
How on earth has he been able to stay clean in Hollywood? By moving to Pasadena, a quiet Los Angeles suburb, after his friends staged an intervention.
"While I was locked up in the psychiatric ward, my buddies moved me out of my apartment, because I had been evicted. I lost my cell phone with all the bad phone numbers in it. I had no place to live and no one to call, so I just kinda took up a new life in Pasadena."
As for Dancing With the Stars, he can't decide who thinks will take home the disco-ball trophy. "I think Gilles is probably the best dancer," he said. "But Lil' Kim might [win]…I don't know. I love everyone. I love Gilles. I love Shawn. I love Lil' Kim. I love Ty."
One thing he knows: He won't waltz again anytime soon. "If I learned anything," he said, "it's probably to not dance anymore."