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    Bitch-Back! Mel Gibson Raises All Kinds of Suspicion

    Mel Gibson Gamma/Eyedea/ZUMA Press

    Dear Ted:
    Wasn't it about a year ago (or less) around Brit's meltdown months that Mel invited Britney to move in with Robyn and him so that she could discover what it was like to live in a "normal" setting and he could help her reignite her career? Well, the TV reports are that he was already separated from Robyn at that time. 

    Dear Knocking Brit:

    That was when B was supposedly hitting it off with one of her managers...I don't think she could juggle two guys in that fragile state.

    Dear Ted:
    Are you a Jew?

    Dear What's the Difference:
    No, just a Jew wannabe.

    Dear Ted:
    Congrats on getting the support of the delusional Kristen & Rob shippers. When are you going to make them happy and reveal the relationship between the two stars?

    Dear Sizing Up Summit:
    Correction: They're not delusional, they're just eager. Also, even though I love my Rob, don't think his zillions of followers care for me anymore, as I seem to be the only one talking about Pattinson's dislike of grooming! (Sorry, I don't kiss anybody's ass, even as lovely a thought as that might be with R.P.) As to your query, waiting to see some of the key players' next moves.

    Dear Ted:
    Just had to ask if you noticed that Nick Jonas' pants were unbuttoned toward the top when he and Miley got out of the car for their "lunch date." Did Miley just see a spot of mustard?
    Loving Spoonful

    Dear Funny Babe:
    That's great.

    Dear Ted:
    "Hey, Mel, Jesus Got Your Tongue?" Man, dude. Have you always been a scumbag loser, or is this a new thing for you?
    —White Throne Books

    Dear Off on Gibson:
    Might be a new thing for me, but it's not for Mel.

    Dear Ted:
    Do you think the whole Nikki Reed, Kristen S., and Rob P. is just a publicity stunt so people talk about it all year long? Or is there an actual chance for this to be true?

    Dear Not Exactly:
    It's a publicity stunt for Nikki.

    Dear Ted:
    Why so much space given over to Twilight? Enough already! Not all of your devoted readers are teen girls swooning over the vampire boys and girls. Surely there must be more interesting things to gossip about? Luv ya anyway!
    Kathy, Philadelphia

    Dear Fresh Blood:
    We have a mini Brangelina on our hands, only the roles are reversed. Get used to it.

    Dear Ted:
    So what's Slurpa Pop-Off up to these days? Still getting action in the ladies' room?

    Dear Det. Slinky:
    Nah, she's taken her restroom conquests out and to the beach, lately.

    Dear Ted:
    I am a huge fan of yours. I've been reading your Twilight news like religion lately. I'm a fan, but I will say that I've been a fan since before the movie was even a rumor, and Rob Pattz was only that hot guy from Harry Potter 4. Anyways my question is why didn't you mention that when Nikki Reed was in L.A. recently, she was hanging out with Kristen's boyfriend Michael, and the two looked very cozy. I'm thinking that the stars of Twilight may not be the relationship kind...and just like swapping boyfriends and girlfriends. What do you think?
    —Brown Eyed Shorty

    Dear Getting Warmer:
    Nikki and Michael are very good friends, indeed, but I would think they were more plotting than falling for each other.

    Dear Ted:
    I've added you to the list of things I'm addicted to. Thanks an effing lot. Perez is posting that Nikki and Rob are doing the nasty regularly. I know you've been denying a full-on relaysh between the two, but have you ever actually smacked down the old friends-with-bennies thing? Not so sure.

    Dear Let's Just Say:
    Rob is benefiting nothing from her.

    Dear Ted:
    has a book to sell and Candy has a (big) house to sell. Call me cynical, but is this feud between them for real? Their names sure are in the showbiz news a lot now, ya know?
    D.C. Dude

    Dear Real as Ever:
    Nothing about that rivalry is fake.

    Dear Ted:
    Is it safe to say that Schlong Sleaze-Wad is Mel Gibson?

    Dear No:
    Nothing's safe in this Biz.

    Dear Ted:
    As much as I like getting the dish on Rob and Kristen, is there anything good you can tell us about Jackson and one of the "Cullen" women? Ashley, hopefully, although I've read she's supposedly dating that guy who played Boone on Lost.

    Dear Incest:
    But aren't they like, brother and sister in the movie? Yech!