Hit Reply: Our Answers Are Better Than Helpful

More letters to The Soup Blog, more answers. Topics broached this go-round include Mansquito, Dutch Oven & the caps-lock key

Welcome back, Friday. We haven't seen you in, like, a week! What have you been doing? Oh yeah...sure...right...uh-huh...(yawn!)...What? No, we're really interested. Just super tired, that's all. Hey, where are you going? Come back! We're totally sorry! Seriously! Oh rats. Well, since there's nothing else to do, we may as well answer some questions.

Crazyquietguy asks: This is the first time I have been to your site. Is there any possible way I can be part of the audience? I love the show, and it's the only show where I want to be part of the audience.
Again, we’ll direct our readers’ attention to this post, which muddily outlines why we aren’t able to fulfill this frequent request. Also not helping your particular case is the email moniker which identifies you as being both crazy and quiet, neither of which are desirable character traits in an audience member. Tell you what, why don't you write back when you are [e-mail].

scdicks72 asks: What can you do to help Joel from botching the punch lines?
You know, scdicks72, Joel wants to succeed, he really does. But as you may not be aware, he’s very sensitive. Very sensitive. Such that, when he reads a hurtful comment from one of his viewers, it just throws his whole game off. So when someone writes in with a bit of criticism, we do everything we can to make sure it appears in his teleprompter.

Maebluedolphin asks: Hey I luv this show! I made a song 4 it. Plz go check out! Katimae P.S. Plz tell me if u watched it!
Hello, Katiemaebluedolphin, thank you for your hard work and contribution. Though our tastes run more to the smooth vocal stylings of Sade and Morbid Angel, we couldn’t get your song out of our head last night and, as a result, suffered a very fitful sleep. In an effort to exorcise the beast and spread your gospel, we’ve embedded the video below.

nicolealyce_2006 asks: I watched an episode last Saturday (05-10-2008) and at the end they showed a clip of a guy telling a story. In the clip he says "It's the mustard Chad." I was wondering if there is anyway to send me that clip? I cannot find it on the website or YouTube.
That was our Clip of the Week segment from the much beloved, Dutch Oven & Camp Cooking. Cee Dub spins a fine yarn. We frequently get requests like yours for copies of the clips that we use. There are many legal restrictions that prevent us from distributing material, but even if there weren’t, we’re lazy, and it seems like kind of a hassle. Maybe some other reader with time on their hands would be kind enough to post that clip on YouTube for nicolealyce_2006.

none asks: I enjoy the show, but I gotta tell you those Dutch Oven clips aren't the least bit funny. They are merely drawn out and boring and definitely unworthy of clip of the week or even being shown.
Oh, well, then please disregard the previous post, everybody. Turns out we were way off on this one. Also, nicolealyce_2006, you have a terrible sense of humor.

Bigwilk24 asks: Why dosen't Joel make fun of Audrina from The Hills being dead behind the eyes? She's way worse than the Kardashian sisters in that category.
You’re absolutely correct, Bigwilk24, but the difference is that Audrina’s character is written that way.

sjenning2356 asks: i'm having trouble getting condensed soup on yahoo. I have Yahoo via att. All i get is an old cached listing and info on campbells soup...My son in San Francisco got it. Why cant i?
Not sure why you aren’t able to find it, sjenning2356, but you can try this link, or if that fails you, try searching in Yahoo for "Yahoo condensed soup" and the first item on the search retrieval list should be it. It was for us, anyway. Also, as for your son in S.F., we talked to him. He said you never call anymore unless it’s to borrow money.

Tiffshu80 asks: My sister-in-law is in this horrible show called Isle of Tyrannos. The acting is so bad I don't know if I should cry for the "actors" or laugh at how bad they are.
You do realize that you are publicly insulting a family member here, right? Just checking.

Iluvsfc asks: I LOVE U! I MAKE ME LAUGH LIKE A CRAZY PERSON!
The caps-lock button is located on the left side of the keyboard, between tab and shift.

KennaJean21 asks: I noticed at the beginning of the show Joel was watching a movie with the dog and sharing his popcorn with him. Popcorn is toxic to dogs, as well as grapes and onions and, of course, chocolate. Just thought you should know.
Thanks, KennaJean21, wish we’d gotten this message three weeks ago...

a.c.tempest asks: What is the name of the movie you guys played a clip from? It was on the Sci-Fi channel and it had a hawkman and his son. It was hilarious and I can't find the name of it anywhere or the clip you guys played. This is important to me because it was one of the funniest things in the world.
We’re not sure to which movie you’re referring, a.c.tempest, but perhaps one of our more memory-intact readers might be able to help you out with a post in the comments. Meanwhile, we’ll be happy to direct your attention to a photo still from Mansquito.

grady.twawki asks: Yo. I'm trying to create a show kind of like The Soup and news put together. Can you give me any advice?
Watch The Daily Show?

See you at the laundromat!