RSVPs:  Jay-Z, Nelly, Will Ferrell, Helen Mirren…
When:  May 5
Where:  Tao Beach and Tao Las Vegas 

For the record, Jay-Z is not dead. Despite rumors that the rapper's plane crashed in transit to Las Vegas, he is alive and well and eating pizza in a red button-down shirt right across from me. In a few hours, he'll watch Floyd Mayweather beat down Oscar De La Hoya, but right now, he's enjoying the shade of a cabana at the Grand Opening of Tao Beach.

Tidying Up for the Beach
Over the years, Tao restaurant and club in both New York and Las Vegas has been a prime celebrity hot spot. Now, they're extending their franchise with a VIP poolside lounge at the Venetian Hotel. On the way over, I saw Will Ferrell eating breakfast at Wolfgang Puck's Riva restaurant in his ubiquitous USC cap. He's supposed to stop by in a bit, but judging by Will's bed hair, I'm guessing he's going up to his room to freshen up first.

Her Royal Majesty
Though Tao Beach features European-style bathing—as in, topless for the ladies—the waitresses have nixed going nude and instead are scantily robed in flesh-colored mesh Joseph Abode bikinis. The rest of the crowd keeps their tops on as well, probably due to the strong gusts of wind that keep knocking over the large sign on the red carpet out front.

But that doesn't stop Helen Mirren from posing for the photogs. Yes, to my surprise, the Queen is in the house. She arrives with hubby Taylor Hackford, looking very out of place in her prim and proper white eyelet dress and cotton cardigan. The Oscar winner shocks me even more when she heartily welcomes Sean "Diddy" Combs with a gracious hug. Who knew the Dame and Diddy were friends?

No to Bare Bathing, but Yes to Bear Betrothals
A sudden gust makes drinks fall and hair blow, but not in a Victoria's Secret sexy kind of way. Rain starts falling, and a Russian partygoer tells me bears are getting married. In his country, when the sun is out and it rains, the fuzzy animals wed. As gripping as this is, Hollywood Party Girl can't stick. The fight begins in two hours, and Jay-Z's bringing his favorite pals back here for his private party. Can I get an encore? Yes, I want more!

Redone and Rockin'
Before heading back to Tao, I stop by my hotel for a catnap. I'm staying at the new Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino, which opened just last mont, after Bruce Willis flipped the light switch. The resort used to be the Aladdin, a fave of Britney Spears, but the renovation has done it good, just like Brit's weight loss. Grand crystal chandeliers lead to the elevators, and the new gaming floor is awesome. I want to stop for a few hands, but partying awaits.

A Brawlworthy Meal
Mayweather beats De La Hoya, and after stopping at Amp’d Mobile's fete at the Palms, I return to Tao for dinner. Sacha Baron Cohen is chowing with Talledega Nights buddy Ferrell but won't talk to me because he's not in Borat drag. He pulled the same trick during Oscars, and I'm over it, so I focus on my Kobe beef. Suddenly, I hear two men screaming at each other. It's Usher and Nelly! Usher's fiancée, Tameka Foster, and Nelly's girl, Ashanti, try to break it up, but the rappers continue their verbal sparring in the kitchen, before security stops it. Yikes! This boxing thing could be contagious.

Sports Stars Let Loose
After a yummy meal, I squeeze my way through Tao nightclub, which is more packed than any other venue I've been to, and brave the wind back at Tao Beach. Macy Gray reserves a cabana, while O.C. hottie Chris Carmack scans the space. Though Kobe Bryant isn't coming, I spot Allen Iverson, Jerome Bettis and Lennox Lewis. It's hard to get to them because of their ginormous entourages, so I catch up with fourth-season American Idol top-ten kid Constantine Maroulis, who avoided the possibility of any plane crash rumors by making the event a road trip. "This was my first time driving down from L.A.," he screams to me, so I can hear him over the crowd. "I just got a new car, so I wanted to break it in a little bit. I got a speeding ticket on the way down. That's the craziest thing so far." At least he was sober.

Too Glam for His Own Good
Not seeming so sober is Diddy. After checking out the outside scene, he heads back to the inside portion of Tao with a wad of cash in one hand and a gold-plated bottle of Jay-Z's Ace of Spades champagne in the other. He's joined by his pals Jay-Z, 50 Cent, Jermaine Dupri and a back-to-buddies Usher and Nelly in the VIP room. The boys pass bottles back and forth and sing along to their own songs being blasted through the speakers. As if the crowd's cheers weren't enough, Diddy decides he needs further reassurance of his fame, so he gets on the mike to tell us how lucky we are to be in the same room as the "most powerful black man ever." Jeez, and I thought his ex J.Lo was a diva. 

By the time I leave, Tao is at capacity, but the masses outside are still awaiting entrance. Someone even asks if they can buy my wristband. They must want to see for themselves that Jay-Z is indeed alive.