Hey, High Mercury Counts Happen…and So Did This Stuff

Broadway-bailing Jeremy Piven's only latest star to cover a controversial move with a, um, colorful, er, explanation

Do not laugh at Jeremy Piven.

What if you were suffering from a sushi-induced mercury malaise? Wouldn't be so funny, now would it? Why, if you were like Piven, you wouldn't even be able to muster a guffaw on account of your "literally paralytic" condition.

So, no matter how funny David Mamet is, do not laugh at Piven because he bailed on Broadway to "pursue a career as a thermometer."

Unless, that is, you're going to be fair about it, and mock all the other stars who've covered questionable or controversial moves with lame interesting excuses explanations.

Well, all right then. Laugh away: