Why Can't Jessica Simpson Remember the Words?

Because she's a perfectionist, that's why

Jessica Simpson performed her final show this weekend and again forgot the words to her songs. Other than looking pretty and singing, does she really have that much else to do but remember the words? Isn't this a basic part of the job for a performer?
— Lydia, Los Angeles

Sit tight. For you, loyal Answer B!tch reader, the world is about to turn upside down: I am about to rise to the defense of a rich celebrity. Perhaps next the sky will turn fuchsia, and the world's house cats will grow opposable thumbs and take over the Warner Bros. studios in Burbank, greenlighting only shows that feature small birds and lizards. But I digress.

For the record, vocal coaches say, flubbing a song on stage is generally rare and quite frowned upon. "There is no excuse," sniffs vocal coach John Deaver, who has worked with Sara Bareilles and Cher, "for messing up lyrics."

But then again, Jessica Simpson operates very differently on stage than most of her fellow singers. How? Well...

...unlike most singers, who keep on belting and hoofing even if they flub a line, Jessica insists on stopping everything and starting all over again.

"She's a perfectionist," her publicist told me today. "She frequently starts over even if she messes just one word up. She wrote these songs, and she wants the audience to hear it perfectly."

In other words, if she had just done what every other live performer had done, and kept on going after singing the wrong word, would we be having this conversation? Would anyone have caught her mistakes and written to me about them?

Also, bear this other fact in mind: Many, many singers prerecord backing tracks or high notes of their songs just in case their voices give out during a show. If you're hearing Simpson stop a song and start all over, she probably isn't relying so heavily on those tricks.

If that argument doesn't move you, well, fine. How about this: Simpson is in some very distinguished company. Kanye West, Britney Spears, Barbra Streisand, Miley Cyrus, Tori Amos and Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran have all forgotten lyrics while live on stage. John Lennon forgot the lyrics to "Don't Let Me Down" during a famous rooftop performance. And the great Lucinda Williams says she brings lyrics sheets with her.

Now, memorize this column. There will be a test tomorrow.