Courtesy of YoutubeIt's 5 o'clock. Do you know where your twerkers are?
If you're the parent of a student at San Diego's Scripps Ranch High School, your twerker is probably just at home, same place they've been all week after being suspended from school for twerk-related violations.
And no, the violation was not that the students in question were just too damn good at twerking. In fact, the students involved in this contraband twerking video were not very good twerkers at all. They were amateur twerkers, at best.
Thirty-three students at Scripps received five-day suspensions, according to NBC 7, for violating the school's zero-tolerance sexual harassment policy, which bans "verbal, visual or physical conduct of sexual nature...in the educational setting."
The video features numerous girls "twerking" around the school campus, while an awkward male student awkwardly poses in each awkward shot. A handful of girls wear what appear to be sports jerseys, so we have to assume that this is the school's junior varsity twerk team.
If you are in the San Diego area, use caution, as the varsity team is still on the loose.
"Suspended, banned from prom, and prevented from walking at graduation all because of an awesome twerk video," one student involved in the sixth-period twerk-athon tweeted. "I don't understand."
Meanwhile, at least one student is hoping to lead a civil rights movement against anti-twerking prejudice, "Suspended for twerking. What do I do? Twerk. At the beach. I twerk at the beach."
(In this scenario, Miley Cyrus would act as a sort of Norma Rae or Martin Luther King Jr.)
The cause seems to be catching on, with students going as far as to suggest that they twerk the school administration right out of office: "To show support for everybody getting suspended, we should all twerk at once at lunch #freethetwerkteam."
This seems like a bad idea that might just get prom and graduation canceled for everyone. Though if you can't twerk at prom, what's the point, am I right? #TWERKorDIE
For those keeping tally at home: Harlem Shaking will get you federally investigated. Gallon Smashing will get you charged with criminal activity. And twerking will get you suspended.
And remember everyone: Twerk unto others as you wish to be twerked unto.