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Yet another gag reflex-triggering episode of Doomsday Preppers featured a man who's probably using this whole "doomsday" thing as a way to justify all those years he kept his Purina shamefully tucked away with his Playboys.

It might be a sad life, but at least he gets high-fived every time he enters a Costco. Plus, he's obviously a genius. There is no way China will ever fit through a doggie door.