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Daytime soaps are being canceled left and right. While Chelsea Handler can sorta see why, she also sorta freakin' loves the melodrama.

But hey, keeping up with all those crazy storylines takes dedication—and free time!

So the late-night funnylady is demanding an afternoon recess from Chelsea Lately so she can indulge in "her stories" like any good lady of leisure.

Here's hoping this TV cliffhanger is pure punch line.