Jennifer Aniston is dropping by the show today for an interview, and the entire staff is out of control. Normally, the guys that work here dress like they just crawled out of their mother's basement, but suddenly they all seemed to have discovered belts and the halls are riddled with Drakkar Noir. I can't remember the last time I saw Steve Marmalstein even look at a razor, but today his cheeks are soft and smooth…and I'm not talking about the ones on his face. Chris Franjola must have hired a stylist for the day, because he looks significantly less gay and there isn't a vest in sight. Brad Wollack is either wearing a wig or he had his hair straightened. Guy Branum, Jen Kirkman, and Heather McDonald have done some remodeling and are making us refer to the office as "Central Perk."
Basically, this is the best this office has looked and smelled since Antonio Sabato Jr. stopped by and filled the air with the smell of his sweet Italian sausage. For once I am proud of the way my staff looks, and I think some of them could even get some action tonight. Not from Jennifer Aniston, because she isn't blind or deaf, but certainly by a slightly overweight girl with acne that's on the rebound and has consumed eight or more margaritas. Once I wrap up with Jen, I may even treat them all to happy hour. Unless Jen invites me out for a drink, in which case I'll act like I don't know who these people are.