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Michael Phelps

CARL DE SOUZA/AFP/Getty Images

While Michael Phelps is getting crucified—both morally and professionally—for smoking some pot, the country's busy heaping awards and posh praise on myriad strains of violence which are far more hurtful than any message Phelps might or might have not sent to young kids.

(These are children, by the by, who are most likely pooh-poohing Phelps' totally gay pot-smoking, as I'm sure they're far more interested in something Lindsay Lohan might have in her purse, ya know.)

Whether it's misogynistic rap lyrics that make billions, or Angelina Jolie killing off any human thing faster than she adopts them in Wanted, or Mickey Rourke getting rave reviews for playing a dude who gets stapled for a living, the US of A mindset has it ass-backward, per usual.

With all that truly brain-frying crap, Phelps' crime is taking a toke? No wonder folks laugh at Americans for being puritanical priss-wipes out of touch with the real world. Because with this kind of blinders-on damnation, we are.