The Blame Game

Pharrell gets all high 'n' mighty when we dare ask about Britney...Plus, forget commando, Lindsay's goin' camo. And look at what just might be Brit's former Mouseketeer mama-to-be Christina Aguilera's baby registry! Is Xtina expecting a girl?

"I wouldn't have even noticed her except she was wearing camouflage—like a full camouflage outfit."
—Sundance passerby who witnessed one of our most infamous rehabbed hons, Lindsay Lohan, in a Utah parking lot this past weekend

How very appropriate that while Britney Spears (see below for more gunfire regarding that wacky sweetie) was going commando recently, L2 opted for paparazzi artillery of an entirely diff sort. They teach her this warfare couture in rehab, I wonder?

Silly girls, all of 'em. Clearly, both demon-battlin’ babes need to follow more along the lines of Natalie Portman’s public goings-on, if they want to fight what we heathens are saying about them in the press: While Brit was stripping and Lindsay was army strutting, N.P., with b-f, just went to hear the Dalai Lama speak at Radio City Music Hall in New Yawk.

Girls, that’s how to rehabilitate yourselves. More on all three dames (including Lindsay's not so refreshed puss out acting like old times) Tuesday. Meanwhile, let’s hear what a kinda cranky celeb has to say about Ms. Spears:

As we woefully winked to last Friday, Pharrell gave reporters an earful before taking the stage Wednesday night at the Hennessy Artistry Finale event. The hit producer-rapper was already in a prickly mood on the carpet and loudly arguing with his publicists, who had far too sensible hairdos.

Things didn’t get much better when us journos started asking for his opinion on all things Britney. What, the P-man thinks we want his thoughts on Darfur, or somethin'? After all, Brit 'n' Phar did work together on her megahit “Boys,” back in the day, so it's not completely far-fetched that he might have insight, right? One intrepid reporter dared ask if he’d work with her again.

“I don’t wanna get into that negative stuff about her, because at the end of the day, if something happens to her, all you guys are gonna feel like shit,” Pharrell admonished us mischievous mouthy types. What, was Sarah Silverman standing nearby? Musta missed her. “So, we should probably just leave her alone or just ask positive questions—not questions that you know will invoke answers that will sell things.”

(Um, keep in the mind, the Q was simply whether he’d work with her again and it’d be fairly easy to answer that one in a positive fashion.)

“I don’t want to be a part of that,” he continued, all holier than Candy Spelling in his puke pink hoodie. “I don’t want that karma on me at all, because at the end of the day, she’s a sweet person. She’s just made a couple decisions that none of us necessarily agree with, but you try being that age and living under that kind of pressure.”

True dat. As we’ve said a billion times before, Lynne Spears largely created the outta-control, panties-free monster we’re all now witnessing 24/7—by never allowing her daughter to have one iota of a pressure-and-porno-esque-free childhood. But still. Pharrell, please do not go and make Britney into another Princess Di...We did not cause her downfall, ultimately—she did (with a lending digit or two from Mom).

P should take some lessons in red-carpet etiquette from Lacey Chabert, who deftly answered queries from us about how she thinks her old Mean Girls costar Lindsay Lohan will do postrehab.

“I think as long as she focuses on taking care of herself, she’ll do great,” Lacey chirped, all cute 'n' curly in her new bob. “She has a tremendous amount of talent, and she’s a lovely girl. She’s definitely been in my prayers. If there was something I could do, I’m certainly here for her.”  

Now, that’s the way to handle a potentially tricky Q. And we’re fairly certain Lacey was actually being sincere and not just PC in her answer, for the record.

Also headlining the Hennessy event besides the cantankerous Pharrell was Fall Out Boy. We asked David Arquette, who showed sans Courteney Cox, if he was there for Fall Out or Pharrell. “Hennessy!” he replied, before ducking inside to get his drink on. Good thing the former Malibu bum likes the cognac, as that’s the only spirit being served at the bash.

Ashlee Simpson was looking like she had a little too much of the liquid treats as she perched on a banquette, so very early Paris Hilton. Later, during Pete Wentz’s performance, a quite wobbly Ashlee started a semi-mosh pit with her gal-pals right by the stage. Other couples making quickie performances included Hilary Swank and John Campisi. The duo dashed down the carpet before snagging a table inside, where John gave Hil a shoulder massage, no release as far as we’re aware.

Remember how we told you Christina Aguilera was mobbed by paparazzi while she was shopping for baby swag at Bel Bambini last week? Well, a baby shower registry at the same swanky Robertson shop is now up in the name of Christina Bratman. If this is, in fact, really Xtina’s wish list, her baby shower is set for Nov. 17, and it appears she’s having a little girl. Blankets, towels and a baby rocker have all been requested in various shades of pink, as well as a “Ballerina Bowl.”

Now, of course, this registry could be as fake as Xtina’s spray tan, but after seeing that the receiving blanket requested is a cheetah print, we’re inclined to believe this might really be hers. Whatever the sex of their still-unconfirmed baby, congrats!   

Ever since we put out the supposed real reason Annette Bening pulled away from performing in the Geffen play The Female of the Species (due to serious probs with the fam at home, a sitch Bening’s repper denies, by the by), we’ve been hearing from the esteemed playhouse that they’re quite desperate to fill Annette’s heady shoes. No-go on Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin—now, the producers are gunning for Oscar-winner Angelica Huston to play the feisty feminist professor lead. Too bad Sharon Stone went all bats--t on us and can’t be taken seriously anymore; she looks so damn formidable and hot when she puts on a blazer and pumps. Will keep you all posted, fer sure.

And why is notorious chick wrangler—and wrinkler—Steve Bing so damn bosomy-buddy with Annette’s other half, Warren Beatty, right now? What the ef’s that about? Just biz? Or is the womanizer (albeit recovered, I think) emeritus suddenly schooling Bing on how to further leave women hanging, à la Elizabeth Hurley, whom Bing left preggers? Or is Warren just living vicariously, fondly remembering his Viagra-free va-va-voom days? Annette, want to weigh in with an answer on this one? Know you’re busy 'n' all, but please do help us gossers out, 'kay?

Ricky Martin poppin' the proverbial cherry of the revamped and renamed Fillmore at the Jackie Gleason Theater, Miami, Ef-Hell-Ay.  R-doll basically did the same worldwide arena show as this summer, but in a much smaller, more intimate space, so all his horned-up fans—and gay men were in the minority, quelle surprise—got to see him a little more up close and personal. He was hot—very chunky-monkeyish. The "La Vida" lover’s bulked up, and it showed in skin-sheathing jeans. Tight, too, was...

Brooke Hogan, hanging out in the lobby of the theater before the concert, clad in wide-legged black pants and a matching tube top, carrying a big-ass gold purse. Posing for pictures with her “fans.” More understandably adored was...

Eva Mendes, also in Miami, crashing at the Mandarin Oriental. Did the press bite thing for We Own the Night, wearing a 1987 vintage dress that was yellow with rather pretty flowers on it, reports this pansy. Now, perhaps you've heard Eva-hon was a tad rude to some zealous types who were hassling her at the airport, trying to snap her picture, could this be why the babe was utterly a peach? Hardly. It’s because there were teams of reporters around, the bitch ain’t dumb. Stupid in love, still, were still munchalicious...

Andrew Shue and wife-unit Jennifer Hageney, hangin' at the Loews Santa Monica, acting just as nicey-pukey to folks who approached (heaven knows why) as Ms. Em, above. Only difference is they meant it.