Three's Company?

Nicky Hilton, Wilmer Valderrama and Nick Lachey are hoping to whet your appetites with their Sin City sustenance spot...we offer our Sick-Sick Six suggestions for to-die-for dishes! Plus, will full-time tart-pops Kevin Federline curtail his partying plans, quite unlike Britney and Rita Cosby? Knives sharpened, everyone?

C-listers, unite! Nicky Hilton, Wilmer Valderrama and Nick Lachey are getting into the restaurant business, and we haven’t been so excited since Nicole Richie embarked on her two-minute career as an authoress. The questionably gifted threesome (save Nick’s talent for making Jessica Simpson blush big-time) are joining forces to open a Las Vegas eatery called Company. Said dining establishment will be at the Luxor, with the cuisine described as “contemporary twists on classic American entrees.” No idea what that means, really, but here’s our Sick-Sick Six ideas for must-have menu items, chomp-chomp!

6. Buffalo Wings:  As a tribute to Nick’s first lady love, J. Simpson, who wasn’t aware that wings don’t actually come from buffaloes.

5. Humble Pie:  Because cocky-butt Wilmer and his ever-present bod-goons could use a serving or 10 of this par-tick dish.

4. Roast Turkey:  ‘Cause the normally tryptophan-filled Nicky puts us to sleep, kinda like after you stuff yourself with this bird on Thanksgiving.

3. South-of-the-Border Surprise:  In honor of the naked pics that surfaced of Nick and Vanessa Minnillo in Mexico. Don’t ask what this one tastes like (musty).

2. Short Ribs:  This special is for Nicky, since she likes her men on the petite side. B-f David Katzenberg is way short, and former flame Kevin Connolly is also under six feet. (And you all know what they say ‘bout the more diminutive dudes, doncha?)

1. Virgin Paris:  At the bar, that is. As the overphotographed presence of Nic’s practically born-again sis will be an essential for this dubious effort to fly, a semisweet concoction of passion fruit, Red Bull, pink lemonade and a sprig of oregano will be just too divine!

Just did Chelsea Handler’s show again (look out, Tori Spelling, you poor thing, but I did my best to defend ya, bitch, promise!)—broad’s too funny. Raw, like I live for. Also, never seen that babe hold back on anybody—except Britney Spears. Certainly was a first. You know that nasty personal sitch we mentioned a couple of columns ago? C.H. was loathe to touch it—like that’s ever happened before. She just wanted to razz K-Fed big-time, a doofus who C.H. clearly feels can take it, unlike Brit-Brit.

Trust, this Louisiana baby is derailing faster than Angelina reclaims her virtue. Now, is Britney putting on a brave face...or does she just not care? Before handing over her kids to K-Fed, Brit hit a Carl’s Jr. drive-thru, natch, for one last gourmet meal with her boys. There were no tears for B. Spears as she continued her busy day shopping and, oh yeah, a trip to the DMV to take care of that pesky little license issue. Everyone seems to think losing her tykes means Brit is hitting rock bottom. We beg to differ.

See, Sean and Jayden were the only real responsibilities she had left in her increasingly spray-tanned existence. It’s not like she’s on tour and has to perform. She has no manager, publicist or mama to answer to these days. Now that Kevin has the procreative results, Ms. Es doesn’t have to worry about the rappin’ ex watching her myriad missteps. Now that she’s no longer a mom, why wouldn’t she go out every night and get wasted? What the hell else does she have to do? Write Sarah Silverman hate mail?

And to add insult to injury, not only does Kevin get the kids but apparently he’s still important enough to make the guest list for Tinseltown parties. The "PopoZão" papa was invited to (and RSVP'd for) Rolling Stone’s Hot Party at Opera tonight. (He didn’t actually make the Hot List, by the by, as that would just be ridiculous.) But now there’s a chance K-Fed won’t grace the bash with his presence.

“We aren’t sure if he’s coming due to Monday’s events,” was the word from organizers, when we asked if he was still planning to attend. Although we’d love to grill the guy Awful-style about all things Brit, we actually give him props for reconsidering his revelry plans. The last things the Spears-Federline tots need is another partying parent. If he has half a brain, he won’t show—but this is Kevin Federline we’re talking about. Stay desultory tuned.

Oh, and Brit? If you’re looking for something to do tonight, you can go join another legally embattled gal’s gathering. Despite the fact that Rita Cosby’s being sued for defamation by Howard K. Stern, girlfriend is throwing herself a book bash for Blonde Ambition. Hey, girls just wanna have parties!

Jake Gyllenhaal, grabbin’ grub to go. Saturday night at Ammo. The restaurant regular was lookin’ hot, sporting a black shirt and some scruff as he quickly dashed in to pick up his takeout order. Wonder who else the food was for? Something tells us it wasn’t Reese Witherspoon. More attached elsewhere was...

Cynthia Nixon, takin’ a break from filming the Sex and the City movie to take in a play. Cyn and partner Christine Marinoni caught Ian McKellen’s final performance of King Lear. Seat spies report that the flame-haired femme looked “fantastic” in a linen jacket and khakis, and her partner is “more attractive in person than pictures lead you to believe.” Havin’ a gay old time back in Hell-Ay was…

Sean Hayes, sippin’ cocktails by the pool. Saturday afternoon at the Standard on Sunset. The Will & Grace star was colorful yet cazh, clad in green khakis and a steel-blue T-shirt. Wonder what he was toasting to? Stockin’ up on healthier fare in the same city was…

Charlize Theron, cleaning up at Whole Foods. The gorgeous gal (who totally tries to fug it up in her new movie and fails miserably) was spotted at the West Hollywood location buying boatloads of organic groceries. Maybe that’s how she keeps her complexion so fab? Who are we kidding here? That kinda glow is Stuart, not carrot, charged.