It's the most wonderful time of year: The time to sit on your couch in your pajamas and watch Christmas movies for hours at a time.
There you are in your cozy living room, slippers on your feet, warm drink in hand, a bowl of raw cookie dough in your lucky little lap. You've got your remote and the next eight hours free. But here's the big question: What do you watch?
A person's favorite Christmas movie says almost as much about them as their astrological sign or their career. The choice is as polarizing as it is enlightening. Some go for the old-timey classics, others go for childhood nostalgia, and still others are, for some reason, partial to the made-for-TV variety. (Dare you come forward, brave souls?)
As all ye merry elves embark on this pre-holiday holiday weekend, we suggest consulting this handy chart so that you can get some introspection along with your Christmas cheer. Because why simply watch Love Actually, when you could watch Love Actually while also learning about yourself?
If your favorite movie is Home Alone: You're probably harboring some long-stifled feelings about your family. Maybe you're one of many siblings, or maybe your parents were just constantly late picking you up from school. Either way you've got some past issues to work out, girl. You have a penchant for hijinks and are always pulling tricks on your friends and coworkers. A little hot tip: It's not as cute when you're not six years old. At the very least, lose the catch phrase.
You're a super picky eater and could stand to branch out and be a little bit more adventurous. Will it really kill you to add some veggies to your pizza? (No, it will not.) You appreciate the finer things in life, especially when it comes to desserts and pajamas. Only the highest quality ice cream and softest flannel for you! Don't let anyone shame you out of wearing your matching PJ sets all year-round...it's one of your quirkiest traits.
If your favorite movie is Love, Actually: You have, on more than one occasion, stood in front of your mirror and practiced your British accent. You have seen every single movie that Hugh Grant or Colin Firth has made—even Music and Lyrics and Mamma Mia. Now that's loyalty. Nothing is more therapeutic to you than a good cry.
You cry everywhere and at everything: sad commercials, in your car, at even the thought of a three-legged dog, in store dressing rooms, and at the end of spin class. Your life is basically that Diane Keatonscene in Something's Gotta Give. You're always the first one to say "I love you" in a relationship and you have actually used those iPhone apps that show you what your future baby would look like.
If your favorite movie is It's a Wonderful Life: You haven't been to the movie theater in, like, years. Maybe decades. You only shop at vintage stores and flea markets, and your preferred dress code is whatever is at least three levels too fancy for the given occasion. You'd choose sitting at home, enjoying a cozy fire, over going out any night of the week.
Your drink of choice is scotch, and if you don't enjoy it while sitting in your bookshelf-filled library with one of those old-timey leather armchairs with brass buttons, then you sure wish that's how you were enjoying it. You only listen to music on vinyl and you're one of the last people in America who uses the black and white filter on Instagram. (To post pictures of Polaroids, of course.)
If your favorite movie is Elf: You're a total Christmas freak. Others may enjoy the holiday season, but you go crazy for it. You spend all year planning your decorations and the annual holiday party you throw is the highlight of your year. Between Thanksgiving and New Year's you don't do anything that doesn't involve celebrating the season. If you're eating, it's Christmas cookies. If you're drinking coffee, it's a gingerbread latte. If you're venturing outside the house, it's to ice skate or go sledding or to take one of those awful walking tours of neighborhood lights.
You own more Christmas socks than most people do regular socks. You have the Christmas Pinterest board permanently pulled up on your work computer. You're definitely going to have cavities the next time you go to the dentist. And you were lying when you said that you celebrate from Thanksgiving to New Year's—you're in line at Target first thing on November 1.
If your favorite movie is The Santa Clause: You still watch reruns of '90s sitcoms...in between catching up on This Is Us, of course. You've actually gone to see Tim Allen do stand-up, and it wasn't because you lost a bet. You only just started watching Saturday Night Live, because of Kenan Thompson. Your most cherished possession is your old LA Gear light-up sneakers.
You're the first person to stand in line to tickets to every Disney reboot. You have no problem with all these sitcom reunions. The best day of your recent life was when chokers and flannels came back in style. You're still arguing about whether Ross and Rachel were on a break. You own at least one piece of inflatable furniture.