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Jessica Simpson, Ruby

Logan Fazio/Getty Images; The Style Network

Since there's such a damn uproar over Jessica Simpson's fuller frame, I went straight to a chick who knows a thing or two about being targeted for her considerably fuller bod, Ruby.

"I just saw Jessica at the Rascal Flatts [show]," gushed weight-loss personality Ruby, who sheds her sass and pounds over at MyStyle, "and what people are saying about [Jessica] is so unfair—she had no cellulite, and Jessica is my goal!"

Really?

"Yeah, to me, Jessica with more curves than she had before is how a woman should be," enthused the Southern babe who documents just how damn hard it is to be visible and calorie conscious on a daily basis. I pressed:

So does this mean Jessica's happier with Tony than she was with Nick?

"Definitely," Ruby decided.

What do you think about the media immediately saying fuller women are pregnant?
I understand both sides, the media are just doin' their job. But look, you all must have looked for every bad picture of Jessica you could find lately.

I thought her tank top was too tight for her fuller frame, don't you?
N
o! It really showed off her breasticles!

Is that an amalgamation of testicle and breast?
Why, no, it's just somethin' I say!

Well, I'm gay, so, I love it. Which actress in Hollywood would you most like to see eat?
I know a lotta people look like toothpicks, but I don't like to say.

Not Angelina? She's way too thin.
Oh, Lord no, she's beautiful. If somebody called me anorexic, I'd say, "thank you, Jesus!"

Oh, Ruby, not you, too?