Michelle Obama

Max Whittaker/Getty Images, Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
How interesting you feel you can criticize Michelle Obama about her gold/yellow color. Have you looked at your own butt-ugly background color of your blog? She has class where your background just looks like you need to scream for attention. No stones when you live in your own yellow glass house, dude.
Pearl 

Dear Not So Mellow Yellow:
I don't wear my blog around me in daylight, and yellow doesn't make my blog look fat, like it did Mich's waist.

Dear Ted:
You might be interested in this, as Sarah Palin is "fiddling" while the people of rural Alaska starve. In my opinion it is akin to Bush doing nothing while New Orleans was drowning. I love your site and know that you care about people and can get word out about injustices, and yes, Sarah is Alaska's business now and out of your hair, but this I believe should be reported. Sarah does not care about the people of Alaska, but only herself and her greater political gains.
Alicia, Wasilla

Dear Passing Off Palin:
A sad and sorry reminder that Ms. P's still got some influence somewhere. Thanks.

Dear Ted:
Regarding Anne Hathaway in that dress: I totally agree! Some other gossip bloggers said she looked good. I'm like, on what planet does she look good in that black dress? Anyways, Ted, love your stuff and love your pets even more! Butch is so cute! I'm a cat person, so cats doing cute things, like hanging out in laundry baskets, melts my heart!
Tammy 

Dear Pet-tastic:
Thanks, you must be the gal who uploads all those cat videos on YouTube. Or at least keeps 'em in business.

Dear Ted: 
What's really going on between Oprah and her bestie, Gayle King? They seem awfully devoted to each other. Oprah even took Gayle as her date to a very private Obama dinner. Is there more than just plain old friendship happening here?
Curious Mind Wants to Know

Dear Big O:
Oprah might not be gay for Gayle, but the main man in O's life right now is Barack, not Steadman.

Dear Ted: 
Is Crescent Kumquat Zac Efron? If it's not him then can you please tell me whether Crescent Kumquat has a famous sibling?
Edge

Dear Crescent Cringe:
Not Zac-y Poo. But yes, I guess you could say Kumquat has a somewhat famous sibling. But not really.

Dear Ted: 
Is Josh Brolin Toothy Tile? Saw him on Inside the Actors Studio and found him very suspicious in that regard.
Lynn, Connecticut

Dear Bro-Down:
Nope, but I could def see these two hanging out.

Dear Ted: 
You are such a toady. Pathetic.
Reh 

Dear I'm Rubber You're Glue:
Good one.

Dear Ted:
Is Henry Skank from One So-Straight, Way-Cheap Blind Vice Dane Cook? Also, I was wondering something about your Blind Vices: Do you share the subjects' true identities with your husband or trusted friends, or do you keep the secrets all to yourself?
Em

Dear Oldie But Goodie:
What's the fun if you keep them all to yourself? And no, wrong vice for Dane. Think a bit older.

Dear Ted:
You are the only person in media, besides the bitchy Ann Coulter who has even had the balls to say something about Obama and his backpeddling. I hope all is well.
Nikki

Dear Obamaing:
Merci, but please, never compare me to that insidious snail again.

Dear Ted:
We know Fake à La Ferocity was at the Golden Globes with her man and that he's bi according to you. But is that recent-years bi or early career bi? Thing is it's so shocking for some of us fans.
Shirley

Dear in the Past?
Like his preferences, a little of both.

Dear Ted:
You thought Josh Duhamel and Fergie wouldn't get married, but you were wrong. You're so jaded.
Sweet Determination 

Dear Can't Win ‘Em All:
Can ya blame me in this town?

Dear Ted:
What's the deal with Lindsay? Can't someone tell her white isn't cool after Labor Day? Talk about real Labor Pains.
Michele, Texas

Dear Out of Fashion:
Pretty much everyday is after Labor Day when ya think about it. Let's give her a break—she's wearing something besides leggings.

Dear Ted:
Are Joaquin's friends/family worried about him right now? I can't help but think that Casey's only hanging around in order to make sure nothing bad happens.
Jessica

Dear Runs in the Family:
Yes, very, very concerned, as they should be. Let's hope we don't have another Winehouse on our hands.

Dear Ted: 
I hate to jump on the Nicole Kidman-bashing wagon, particularly since she used to be a natural redhead like me; however, her recent comments about how Australia is a film she's not proud of made me gag. Gee, wanna bet that if the movie had been a hit, she'd be singing a different tune (though hopefully her singing days are over)?
Em

Dear Touché:
Guess she's not that great of an actress to at least feign liking that feh flick?

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