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Desperate Housewives

ABC/Andrew Eccles

This one's too stoopid to wait until Friday. So as a special double Blind Vice week in honor of Barack Obama's inauguration (about which I am very happy, contrary to popular belief), I'm filling you all in on a super scandal over at Marc Cherry's ABC hit, Desperate Housewives. Now, it's no secret that those broads get along about as well as Palin and Biden fans do, but something new is making things even worse:

Shilah Schtup Me, let's call her (a virgin to our naughty Blind Vice annals, I must say), has made it quite clear she feels her TV gig is, well, just not A-List enough.

Therefore, she's had certain members of her representation make discreet—or so she thought—inquiries about gradually getting her some primo movie gigs, with the hope of one day being able to ditch the boob-tube stuff altogether.

Trouble is, the rest of Shilah's representatives, not to mention practically every agency in town at this point, found out about it and read SSM the riot act for being such a damn ingrate, as she's incredibly lucky to have landed the D.H. gig in the first place—as the fool had no career to speak of prior. None. Zilcho. In other words, fierce and scolding word came back:

Be happy where you are, 'cause you ain't no movie star.

It Ain't: Lily Tomlin, Dana Delaney, Andrea Bowen