Barack Obama

AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais

Dear Ted:
Is it only me, or do you think Miley Cyrus looked like Odie the dog in the cartoon Garfield when she stuck her tongue out at the G.G.s? Was it an advertisement, hillbilly genes or just plain spoiled brat behavior? How long is her 15 minutes of fame going to last?
—barbann333

Dear Moaning Over Miley:
How long did Britney's 15 minutes last? I think we're in this for the long haul, especially since Cyrus and scandal seem to be BFF.

Dear Ted:
Why the hostility with Obama's public relations campaign? More people in this country read Parade than say The Economist or The Nation, and given the amount of people who didn't vote for him, he is likely reaching out and promoting the whole family-guy message for a purpose. It's intellectually nonthreatening and denotes a common-man appeal. The man does nothing without a purpose. Ease up...you supported the Clintons and with your admirable skills in gossip research, I would have thought you would be appalled by what is out there on them. I was, and I'm not a professional researcher.
—saben238

Dear Potomac Pooper:
If Hil wrote an open letter to her hubby I'd be sayin' the same friggin' thing as she was about to step on to Obama's cabinet. Time can be better spent, people.

Dear Ted: 
Johnifer
or Mayerston? Or who Cares?
—Annemarie

Dear Pet-Named Out:
Think you do babe, you're the one writing about 'em.

Dear Ted:
I am not known for my love of Brangelina, but they had to know it would eventually blow back on their faces. Too much exposure makes people tired of them. Lately, it would seem that those poor kids galloping around the world are more of an accessory to achieve their goals than anything else.
—drgerass

Dear Reluctant Brangie Fan:
They may be polarizing, but they're still popular—the public's interest in them is nowhere near close to dying down. As for the Industry? That remains to be seen, but I wouldn't count on it.

Dear Ted:
Is Tom Cruise as nice a person as he appears, or is he acting? Or maybe under Scientology puppet-mastery? I thought he was very good in Valkyrie.
Donna

Dear Curious About Cruise:
Incredibly kind. How he and John Travolta worship as Scientologists is way beyond me.

Dear Ted:
I can't believe I'm doing this since I usually make fun of the people who ask Toothy Tile questions. But this is driving me crazy. Was Toothy at the Golden Globes?
—Donna

Dear About 'n' Not Out:
Who wasn't?

Dear Ted:
I was just reading your Jan. 15 Bitch-Back. I totally love that Kate Winslet made that comment to Oh-Holy Angelina at the G.G.'s! I am soooooo tired of those two! She always looks pouty and always has the I'm-better-than-you look on her face!
—D

Dear K vs. A:
We don't think Kate meant to almost forget Angie, but it shows she's got better things on her mind to worry about than Jen's nemesis. How refreshing for once.

Dear Ted:
I must admit I have strayed and read other gossip websites, but I swear my love for you is true, and I will try to stay faithful to you alone. As a reader of many sites though, you do have the best gossip. But concerning your Morning Piss on Mr. Obama, yes, the emperor has no clothes.
—Amjelinek

Dear Oval Schmoval:
But he's still our president. We should probably show more respect than I've started off with, will try and tone it down, you?

Dear Ted:
Bush
is going back to Crawford, but I'm still frustrated with your shot of gossip regarding Crescent Kumquat. Could he be Jackson Rathbone or Cam Gigandet?
—singlemg

Dear Chasing Twilight Rumors:
C.K.'s fangs aren't quite so sharp.

Dear Ted:
I like the Ted videos. I don't mind the yellow or the new format. Except now you are so boring and slow. So few new items. So little variety. So little true dirt. Snoresville!
—ritakane

Dear Hard to Please:
The new format's hardly new anymore. And the dirt's true, babe, maybe you just don't wanna believe it? 

Dear Ted:
Is Oded Good Head Common? He's a rapper and an actor?
—The Gemini

Dear Uncommon:
Close, hon, but C's not our man.

Dear Ted:
Reese Witherspoon
is the Stuart Smalley of Hollywood. She's good enough, she's smart enough and doggonit, people like her! So unlike people like Robert Downey Jr. who crashed, burned and then came back, wouldn't a scandal ruin her? Why then, would she agree to be a beard or to sleep around...both of which you've inferred she's done? What gives?
—Patricia

Dear Withering Away:
Just like you said, Reese is one smart babe. Everything she does is with a purpose, trust.

Dear Ted:
Regarding your tech problems, I have a temporary solution! Instead of trying to access the jump, hit Print; it will give your complete blog, but don't actually print, save paper!
—Janice, Toronto

Dear Green Gal:
Thanks for the tip to international readers like you, babe. Hopefully, all the probs should be fixed pronto.

Dear Ted:
Angelina needs to cut herself a fringe in that hair, you could show a movie on that forehead! Well except for maybe the glare. Actually for that matter, Kidman should take that advice as well!
Sara, Calgary

Dear Forehead Flick:
Good idea, but do we have to watch their movies?

Dear Ted:
Seraphina
! That's the name of the new Affleck-Garner baby! My friend tells me Seraphina is an angel. So tell me, Ted, is little Seraphina the angel who is going to save the Garner-Affleck marriage?
Gabriel

Dear Baby Savior:
Takes more than a baby to save a doomed marriage, like you needed me to tell ya that.

Dear Ted:
Is Angelina going the way of Nicole Kidman? Angie's face looks frozen! Isn't she too young to be into Botox and other surgical things?
—icequeen

Dear Needlin':
Almost all actresses end up in Botoxville, sooner or later. It's the purgatory of facial expressions.

Dear Ted:
Just a comment, long-time reader. Remember Tea with Ted, not always a fan, but still kept reading. Think Brangelina's phoniness has turned them into caricatures of what they tried to appear to be.
—Simon

Dear Nice to See ya, I Think:
But no matter what happens, the Brangelina era will not be erasable.

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