Amy Winehouse

XPOSURE / Ramey

This is what Amy Winehouse has resorted to at the fancy Caribbean resort where she is not allowed to be served liquor: "We keep catching her crawling past bars or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests’ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut." And yes, there's a picture.

• Gywneth Paltrow is prepared to do more than just send you pastel-colored newsletters every week to get your ass in shape—she's going to open an actual gym.

• Mickey Rourke is defending President Bush, but who can pay attention to words when his suit is so shiny. Soooo shiny and distracting...

It's nice when Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel do something good, but we can never come up with anything to say about it. So, uh, keep up the good work, kids.

Yes, we know Star covers are mostly fiction, but sometimes they're so awesome. 

Is that Jake Gyllenhaal excercising in our Big Pic gallery? Dude doesn't quit.