What begins as a seemingly innocuous bit of fluff on the Martha Stewart Show—blending fiery habañero peppers with water to create a handy bug spray—turns into a stunning personal revelation from the grand kitchen dame.

Basically, you don't want to put habañero peppers on your genitals. How does she know this? Is it some perverse prison practice, a cheap erotic thrill for bored, butch cons or perhaps a big-house punishment for stoolies? Did the gals in cell block D hold her down for a burning taste of squealers crotch? 

Who knows. At least it keeps bugs away.