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Real Housewives of New York City Season 8

Bravo

Real Hoarders of New York City was in full swing and it's fascinating, so why is Bravo showing so little of it? We need a hoarders special of The Real Housewives of New York City right now.

In the 13th episode of the best season ever, Dorinda Medley ventured into the depths of Sonja Morgan's basement, which contained as many interns standing around as it did bottles of cooking oil. You see, Dorinda has been going through her apartment with the help of Bethenny Frankel, but that's only been seen via flashbacks. Bethenny helped Dorinda get rid of her Halloween store decorations, stripper shoes and what have you. Show more of this.

So, Dorinda, in her blurred out "What are you doing here without Dorinda?" T-shirt, took to Sonja's dungeon to help her remove the hundreds of stuffed animals that sat dormant there. In addition to the bottles of oil and stuffed animals, we spotted an evaporated soda, decades old hair dryers, skateboards, gifts for new babies, shutters, crutches, a crib and curtains that were damaged in a hurricane. "I thought maybe I could use them again," Sonja, like every hoarder you've ever seen on national TV, told Dorinda.

"I'm definitely a high-class hoarder," she said. The scene was all too brief and ended when Sonja announced she was going to have diarrhea and that giving away stuffed animals reminded her of when she had a family.

Reality TV is voyeuristic at its heart. Viewers watch to get insight into how others live, to be entertained by the lives of others. So combining Hoarders and The Real Housewives of New York City is a ludicrously good idea. Save Sonja Morgan before she goes total Grey Gardens! Show us the absurd stuff that's hiding away, the ghosts of interns past, the toaster oven prototype box, whatever else may be lurking beneath the piles of stuffed animals. Give us this, Bravo, but don't give us a cooking show with Jules Wainstein.

Jules doesn't know how to make tea or coffee and wanted to put Percocet and Lidocaine in her calzone at a pizza party with Dorinda, Bethenny, Carole Radziwill and Ramona Singer. Carole swayed her away from the drugs, but Jules decided to put a fork, a knife and a sauce container inside her creation.

"Unless I took LSD, I looked in the calzone and there was a fork, a knife—stainless steel—and a stainless steel marinara cup, INSIDE THE CALZONE THAT I HAVE JUST BEEN EATING," Bethenny said. "What the f--k?"

Yes, Jules has been open about her eating disorder and the ladies are very aware of that. Was Carole bashing her as Jules reported? No, it doesn't seem like it. She was concerned because Jules was playing with her food and attempting to add prescription drugs to it.

Anyway, Luann de Lesseps was off in her own world being engaged to be engaged (which is still something people do past the age of 18 when you both go away to other colleges) so she had a party to tell people how happy she is and that she doesn't care if she's on the outs with Bethenny and Carole. Sigh.

The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesdays, 9 p.m. on Bravo.

(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)