Christmas has come early, Real Housewives fans!
With season seven of The Real Housewives of New Jersey right around the corner, we've been impatiently awaiting the big reveal of the ladies new taglines. We even offered up a few ideas for our favorite jailbird Teresa Giudice. But all that waiting is over because E! News has your exclusive first look at the new opening sequence. You're welcome. (We accept thank you gifts in the form of bottles of Teresa's Fabellini prosecco only—and no, we don't care that it's been discontinued.)
So, did Teresa take our advice and use one of our lines? And what about Melissa Gorga, Jacqueline Laurita, and newbies Siggy Flicker and Dolores Catania? Did they deliver the Garden State gold? Let's break it down.
Jacqueline kicks things off, coming back swinging into her first season back after taking a year off with the vaguely threatening, "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, you better run!"
The tagline signals a new Jacqueline, one who isn't taking anyone's BS. We give it three out of five table flips.
Melissa's up next, with "I always act like a lady, but now I think like a boss."
We always appreciate a cocky RH tagline, and this one is perfectly fine, but with no callbacks to drama of seasons past or references to family, it falls a little flat for us. Two out of five table flips.
Newbie Dolores introduces herself to fans with, "I was raised Jersey strong. Nothing in this life can shake me."
The first impression left here isn't a strong one, despite Dolores' claim otherwise. One out of five table flips.
Season seven's other newcomer Siggy gets right to the point: "Some people think I'm too much. They're absolutely right!"
Look, this is a lot to live up to, but we've got a feeling that Siggy is going to be this year's breakout star. This tagline is gold. Five out of five table flips.
And now, the moment we've all been waiting for: Teresa's return. The reigning champ of RHONJ returns after her stint behind bars with, "I used to flip tables. Now, I'm turning them."
Solid call back to the moment that made her a star (one that's so iconic we're using it to rate these damn things), but we'd be lying if we said we weren't a little disappointed that there's no winking mention of her recent troubles. Four out of five table flips. Welcome back, queen.
Check out the ladies delivering their taglines in the video above and let us know which is your favorite in the comments below!
The Real Housewives of New Jersey returns for season seven on Sunday, July 10 at 8 p.m. on Bravo. And for more on the new season of RHONJ, watch E! News tonight at 7 p.m. and 11 p.m.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)