It feels like the actual game of thrones is finally starting.
After years of everybody separately talking about taking over the seven kingdoms, we're getting closer and closer to a real fight taking place as various factions are either putting their armies together or trying to negotiate something or other.
Jaime (and Bronn!) arrived at Riverrun to try and get Blackfish to surrender (and to interrupt Edmure's hanging), but that definitely did not work. Blackfish claimed he had provisions for two years and wasn't about to give up after like five minutes, so he closed up the drawbridge and sent Jaime on his way.
Unfortunately, things were also not going so well for Jon and Sansa, who were struggling to get any other houses involved in their fight since nobody wanted to fight alongside wildlings. Even the wildlings themselves were a little worried about fighting given what would happen to them if they lost, but Tormund convinced them that they had to fight for the guy who died for them that one time.
They did manage to get a few men from House Mormont from the badass (and best new character) 10 year-old Lady Lyanna, but only 62 of them, which is not much. Sansa tried to convince Jon they needed more, but he claimed there was no time, so she wrote off for some herself.
Now, in some other intriguing news: the Hound is alive! He's been hanging out with Ian McShane (or Septon Ray, whatever) and his followers, and feeling guilty for everything he's ever done. The septon tried to tell him that he was still alive because the gods had a purpose for him, but the Hound wasn't so sure.
Then, while the septon was preaching, three men rode up on horses (from the Brotherhood, according to the Hound) to basically tell everyone about how the night is dark and full of terrors.
Later, the Hound was cutting firewood before supper and then went back to the camp to discover that everyone had been slaughtered, and the septon had been hanged. We're not sure exactly what this means, but there are a lot of things we hope it means, and only three more episodes for those hopes to come true!
Meanwhile, Arya was making plans to get back to Westeros. She bought/demanded a trip home from a random (and very baffled) guy, but apparently she forgot that she had defied two of the sneakiest assassins in all of the seven kingdoms, because she also forgot that the old lady behind her could possibly be about to stab her in the stomach.
Arya was actually stabbed multiple times before she fell into the water and escaped. When she climbed back out of the water, bleeding heavily, pretty much all the eyes in town were on her.
In King's Landing, Margaery's fully drunk on the sparrow's kool-aid. He's wondering why she's not having sex with the king, and she says it's because she no longer has the desire. "LOL," says the sparrow, sort of, "women don't need desire for sex!" He tells her it's her duty, but she's really not into it.
She is, however, into getting her grandmother out of town before she's thrown in jail for defying the faith. Lady Olenna's on her way home, but she won't go before she gets a chance to burn Cersei a few times.
"I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met," she says, before encouraging her to get out, as well. Cersei, however, is not leaving her son, no matter how lost his mind is.
Somewhere else, Yara and Theon were in hiding, hanging out in a pub somewhere, slappin' asses. Or at least Yara was, because Theon was more interested in feeling sorry for himself. Yara basically told him to snap out of it, because she needs the old Theon back, and they need to get revenge. So their plan is to ride to Meereen and get help from "the dragon queen" in getting their home back.
Finally, Bronn wins the line of the week.
"A Lannister always pays…"
"Don't say it. Don't f—king say it."
We missed you, buddy.
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO.