Gwen Stefani, we bow down to thee, for we are not worthy of your artistry.
The singer just released another video from her much talked-about album This Is What the Truth Feels Like. This time around we're getting visually treated to Misery, a song that—surprise!—is all about Blake Shelton. Of course we kid, because they're all about Blake Shelton.
Contrary to the song's title, this tune (and the corresponding video) is not actually miserable at all; it's quite upbeat. For a song whose chorus includes the line "Pull me out of my misery," of course. We've had our eyes peeled to the video all morning, with its totally off-the-wall fashion and classic Gwen Stefani (amazing) weirdo dance moves. But besides providing an opportunity to bring back unitards, this piece of work is also teaching us some very valuable lessons, about our love lives and otherwise. Find out what we learned from teacher Gwen.
1. Top secret Hollywood rules now dictate that every music video ever created must now feature dancers in kicky hats.
2. When in doubt, use a smoke machine.
3. Gwen is most definitely more addicted to Blake than we've been to anything. Don't believe us? Just let the lyrics "You're like drugs, you're like drugs to me" speak for themselves.
4. While backup dancers are all well and good, the best music video costar is most definitely a horse.
5. Sorry haters, but flower crowns are still in. And they're not going anywhere.
6. You are never too old to rock a leotard. We present you with Exhibit A, and the commentary "damn, girl!"
7. Gwen was just as surprised by her feelings about Blake as we were. She sings, "I'm thinking things I never felt before/ Like what your love would taste like." Scandal!
8. This whole Harajuku obsession is never going away.
9. Gwen Stefani has the most creative hairstylist in all of Hollywood—nay, the world!
10. Bike dancing is the new regular dancing.
11. Food shopping just earned a spot in Gwen Stefani's favorite song themes: "Don't sell this at the grocery store/ All cause your love, it tastes like..."