Rocky Widner/NBAE via Getty ImagesThe long, national nightmare that was the Lakers' 2015-16 season is about to finally be over. Which means it's #MambaDay.
Reminiscences and well wishes are already pouring in for Kobe Bryant ahead of what will be a star-studded farewell to the 18-time All-Star ahead of his final NBA game with the Los Angeles Lakers tonight at Staples Center. It's been a bittersweet final season for the team's marquee star, his glorious goodbye tour pocked with one loss after another as the Lakers ended up with their worst record in franchise history.
But as we gear up to say goodbye to the controversial athlete, who was both loved and hated depending on whom you asked on any given day (and in any given city), we couldn't help but consider the basketball star known throughout the league as the "The Black Mamba"—so named after the venomous snake that packs a potent, toxic bite that can bring a human being to collapse within 45 minutes—and think…
Who came up with that first, Kobe or Quentin Tarantino?
Because in the Kill Bill saga, the unforgettable assassin played by Uma Thurman was also dubbed "Black Mamba" by the team of stone-cold killers she plied her trade for (until everything goes horribly wrong). And no one kicked more ass than Uma in those films.
Then again, no one has kicked more ass than Kobe over the past 20 years, either. So without further adieu, here's how the two most famous Black Mambas stack up against each other. Who would you rather play with?Kobe "Black Mamba" Bryant vs. Beatrix "Black Mamba" Kiddo (aka The Bride)
Nickname Origin
Kobe: Dubbed himself The Black Mamba, both for branding and in response to his off-court issues in 2003 and 2004. He said in the documentary Muse that he came up with his on-court persona as a way to separate his basketball business from his personal business.
Beatrix: Christened Black Mamba by Bill, aka "Snake Charmer," the leader of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. Kill Bill Volume 1 hit theaters in October 2003, followed by Volume 2 in April 2004.
Weapon of Choice
Kobe: Basketball, spring-loaded legs
Beatrix: Samurai sword, Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique
Identifiable Mark
Kobe: No. 24
Beatrix: Bare feet
Warm Welcome
Kobe: Staples Center
Beatrix: Nowhere
Personal Life
Kobe: Married to Vanessa Bryant for 15 years. Two daughters, Natalia and Gianna
Beatrix: Was engaged. Groom and all in-laws mowed down by Bill & Co.
Fluent Languages
Kobe: English, Italian, Spanish
Beatrix: English, Mandarin, steely silence
Achilles Heel
Kobe: Actual Achilles, plantar fasciitis, torn rotator cuff, deteriorating knees
Beatrix: Her humanity
Biggest Frenemy
Kobe: Shaquille O'Neal
Beatrix: Bill
Zen Master
Kobe: Phil Jackson
Beatrix: Pai Mei
Longtime Idol Turned Thorn in Side
Kobe: Plagued by constant comparisons to Michael Jordan
Beatrix: Bill
Nemeses
Kobe: LeBron James, the Miami Heat, Boston Celtics
Beatrix: Bill the "Snakecharmer," O'Ren "Cottonmouth" Ishii and the Crazy 88, Elle "California Mountain Snake" Driver, Vernita "Copperhead" Green, Budd "Sidewinder"
Stuff Nightmares Are Made Of
Kobe: Losing NBA Finals to Celtics in six games in 2008; getting upset by Detroit Pistons in five games in 2004 despite having the seemingly unbeatable combination of Shaq, Gary Payton and Karl Malone on his side
Beatrix: Bill destroying her life
Hot Young Upstart
Kobe: Stephen Curry
Beatrix: Pretty Riki
Insurmountable Obstacle Overcome
Kobe: Winning championship without Shaq
Beatrix: Being buried alive
Holy Grail Never to Be Achieved
Kobe: Tying or surpassing Michael Jordan's six NBA Championships
Beatrix: Having a normal life
Debt of Gratitude
Kobe: Jerry Buss
Beatrix: Quentin Tarantino
Crowning Achievement
Kobe: Legendary, Hall of Fame-worthy career including 81-point game and five NBA Championships
Beatrix: Killing Bill, motherhood