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Katherine Heigl, Emmys

John Shearer/WireImage.com

Random backstage thoughts ‘n’ bits from a relentless snoop:

About-Puss:  Interesting thing, being anointed with Emmy dust. You suddenly start making moves that really, really aren’t like those you made before—at least, with some broads. Katherine Heigl abandoned us ink types backstage after her big win for Supporting Actress, Drama. Remember when folks gave me a hard time for stirring things up, Isaiah Washington-wise, at this year’s Globes show?

Well, Katy-babe was the true rebel in that sitch, telling myriad electronic outlets how wrong it was that Isaiah used the F-word in his response to my question about whether or not the cast had moved on, and she wasn’t even directly nominated! This year, she nabs the top prize, and she’s a no show? Darling, think of the coverage you coulda got at that one this year. Or did your peeps advise otherwise?

Jane Krakowski

Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com

Blabber Rehab?  Or take that darling Jane Krakowski, from 30 Rock. She’s so bitchin’, right? Well, she used to be. J.K. accompanied upset sweetheart Tina Fey backstage, just to soak up some o’ the 30 love, I’m sure. When I pulled Ms. K. aside, all private like, away from all recorders, I asked girlfriend what the ef happened with Alec Baldwin sending that nasty-ass VM to his daugther, Ireland, you know, the one someone with gorgeous hair must have leaked to the media?

“I’m just thrilled we won tonight,” Janey-hon, remarked back, all blond highlights and booby cleavage slightly quivering. Trust, this was not the same Ally McBeal broad who so used to dish with moi at these types of gatherings years past. So, I pressed: “It was awful, what was the cast’s reaction to something like that?”

“We were on hiatus,” Ms. Kay remarked through some kinda champagne-tainted breath (been so long since I drank that crap, have no idea if was a decent vintage). I was not going to budge, pressed yet again, as it was such a shocker story. 

“We’re just thrilled about the show tonight,” Jane repeated in her best Stepford Wives moment evah. Oh, darlin’, you drinkin’ the press-ese Kool-Aid, too?

Al Gore, Tipper Gore

AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian

No-No Britney!  Also deft at the avoidance dance was former Vice Prez Al Gore, whom I tried so very hard to get to offer up some tips/advice/wardrobe commentary on Britney Spears. Seemed fitting to this reporter, as few have survived public relations firestorms better than the veep. And not only did the corset-needing green dude refuse my repeated pushy requests to please help out Britney, media-wise, he also chastised yours truly when I asked if he would consider running in 2008. “I’m not running,” he pooh-poohed. “You know that.” 

I do? Can’t I wish? Besides, still here ya might, so there, quit being so contrary!

Jon Stewart

Michael Caulfield/WireImage.com

Butting Out:  Tad friendlier fire came from next year’s Oscar host Jon Stewart, who assured me no Oscars in the round (as in this year’s Emmys) would be occurring, as people have seen “enough of my ass,” already, he quipped. Hey, I’ll take it over Al’s, but whatev. Also had to be the lucky dude who informed Stewart O.J. Simpson was in jail—“He is?” J.S., asked me, stunned—therefore, I predicted Stewart would be getting the first phoner with Simpson from jail, à la Paris to Barbara Walters, and I asked the funny gray-haired what, exactly, would be his first question. 

“Is this how it went down, Capone?” J.S. offered up. “By kicking a door down in Vegas?” 

Hey, maybe Stewart hosting the Big O this year ain’t so bad, after all. 

Jeremy Piven

AP Photo/Reed Saxon

Not Outting:  Himself, that is. And, of course, Jeremy Piven, after I asked him to please define the line between being tough and being an asshole (some crap about showing a “human side,” answered the notorious babe-and-party badass, oh, please!) went on to say—totally unprovoked—that he was “straight,” even though he brought his mom and sis to these big facade-capades. “I think that was horrible,” remarked one of Hollywood’s most celebrated journalists, in response. “And why does he protest so much, I wonder?” 

Indeed, bro. Why bring it up, at all. Oh, and that totally reminds me about this boyfriend-scuttlebutt biz I got on Oprah and Star Jones Reynolds (no, they’re not a new couple, hardly), but babe-hon, that’ll have to wait til tomorrow, gotta go party. 

Keep it real, everybody! ‘Cause heaven knows nobody in Hollywood is. 

Filed by Ted Casablanca