• Share
  • Tweet
  • Share
Miley Cyrus, Jessica Simpson, Kate Winslet

AP Photo/Peter Kramer; Paul Fenton/ZumaPress.com; AP Photo/Evan Agostini

In an unprecedented move in the annals of Hollywood beauty, Soup Blog sources report that three major female stars have joined forces to battle an inscrutable, elusive foe that few have had the courage to acknowledge: Acne.

Individually, Miley "Bad Breakouts" Cyrus, Jessica "Proactiv" Simpson and now Kate Winslett—who recently admitted her skin plight to Vanity Fair—have engaged the dreaded evildoer, but fighting as a supertrio may create the necessary strength to take Acne down once and for all according to experts.

“Crime-fighting dermotologists such as myself have long fought against Acne and his ruthless henchmen, the Clogged Pores, but he is a formidable opponent,” states Dr. Redmond Dand of the LAPD Acne Squad. “Thank God these brave actresses are stepping in to save the day before this cruel, pus-filled monster takes over Hollywood.”

Reached at the secret lair above a candy shop he shares with his wicked associate Bacne, Acne had this to say: “Their scrubs and medicines and lotions will never stop me from breaking out! These women may be stars, but their sweet virginal skin is mine to befoul! Mine, I tell you!”