All hail Tom Cruise and his superhuman ability to never age.
And featured in today's episode of Cruisian Anti-Aging Worship, we have Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, a movie that plays out like an homage to the fact that Cruise can still kick major ass—and that's exactly what audiences want to see. The flick picks up after the events of Ghost Protocol, the fourth installment of the MI series. It's nearly impossible to describe the plot without needing an encyclopedia and endless footnotes—and let's be honest, the plot isn't the biggest draw for these movies anyways—but here's the basic gist.
Ethan Hunt (a.k.a. Cruise) is somehow still alive and is searching for The Syndicate, a possibly-made-up kind-of terrorist group that's threatening to bring down the IMF (and the world). In his attempt to save the world and stuff, he also does a lot of crazy things. Things for which there was no body double. Things that no 53-year-old man should be able to do. But when you're filming a sequel to a movie that saw you climbing the tallest building in the world, it takes a lot to upstage yourself.
And upstage he did. Most audiences will recognize the now-infamous plane incident, seen below, but that's just a notch in Tom's stunt belt. The best tricks from the flick were just begging to be ranked, so here...we...go.
12. After being literally brought back from the dead, Ethan attempts the ol' slide-over-the-hood-of-the-car maneuver and...falls immediately to the ground. That's right, the only failed stunt in Rogue Nation comes after an actual near-death experience.
11. Can't find a car? How about an old-fashioned foot race through the streets of London? It turns out 53 years isn't too old to run sprints...on cobblestone, no less.
10. It turns out the best way to sneak backstage at the Vienna Opera House is to swing several stories high on a single curtain rope.
9. When Ethan Hunt needs to get to the bottom of a colossal swarming tank of water, the only way down is to jump. Very, very far.
8. Parachute from a plane into a top-secret factory? Sure. Just your average Tuesday.
7.No spy movie would be complete without a car chase—and this car chase just so happens to take place through the winding streets of Casablanca (stairs included) and casually destroys a BMW.
6. A fight scene is all well and good, but it's even better when it takes place on a tiny raised platform at the top of the Vienna Opera House.
5. Speaking of fights, Ethan's escape scene from some scary Syndicate gangsters was pretty bad ass.
4. Tom Cruise is never without an escape plan. If you ever find yourself at the Vienna Opera House, take a page out of his book and sprint across the roof and repel down the side of the building. In a tuxedo, of course.
3.How to turn up on a chase scene: Hop a motorcycle and take a few hairpin turns through Moroccan mountain roads.
2. Oh yes, it's that plane scene again. But wouldn't you know that hanging off of a real-live Boeing is actually the second-coolest stunt.
1. Because when there's an underwater scene that calls for Cruise to hold his breath for six minutes, nothing can beat that. We repeat: Six minutes.