Getty Images, Nicole Rivelli/NBC
Getty Images, Nicole Rivelli/NBC
It's time for a little game we like to call: "Which super Republican said this?!"
In one corner we have Donald Trump, he of orange face, puffy lips and wispy hair that somehow looks bloated. We didn't know hair could actually look bloated but yet, there he is, reaching for the stars in that regard. Donald Trump loves money and being a rich, white man.
In the other corner we have 30 Rock's Jack Donaghy, played to perfection by Alec Baldwin. Jack was also a rich, white uber-republican who loved money and business.
So when we present you with a quote from one of these two men, can you decipher whose lips it came from?
Give it a try! Below we have 24 quotes from Jack and Donald, and it's up to you to figure out who actually said it. It's harder than it looks, because Donald Trump is essentially an overblown TV character birthed from the mind of Tina Fey as a way to entertain us all to no end.
We suggest writing your answers down on a piece of paper so you can compare them with our answer key later. Ready? Here we go…
1. "When it comes to hair, no one is more bitchy than conservative males."
2. "I don't like the crying."
3. "I'm not a schmuck. Even if the world goes to hell in a handbasket, I won't lose a penny."
4. "The Italians have a saying: 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.' And though they've never won a war, or mass produced a decent car, in this area, they are correct."
5. "Human empathy! It's as useless as the Winter Olympics."
6. "I do admire Wonka. He is a true capitalist. His factory has zero government regulations, slave labor and an indoor boat."
7. "The only kind of people I want counting my money are little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day."
8. "[Gay marriage is like] in golf. A lot of people—I don't want this to sound trivial, but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It's weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist."
9. "I once claimed 'I am God' during a deposition."
10. "The beauty of me is that I'm very rich."
11. "I don't have friends at NASA. Bunch of nerds."
12. "[That] is an oxymoron, like 'liberal government' or 'female scientist'."
13. "Money can't buy happiness. It is happiness."
14. "I will build you one of the great ballrooms of the world."
15. "What do we elites do when we screw up? We pretend it never happened and give ourselves a giant bonus."
16. "When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say China in a trade deal? I beat China all the time. All the time."
17. "I like when a woman has ambition. It's like seeing a dog wearing clothes."
18. "I have a great relationship with the blacks."
19. "Every time I meet a new person, I figure out how I'm gonna fight 'em."
20. "You know, it really doesn`t matter what [the media] write as long as you`ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass."
21. "I would think that the single woman's biggest worry would be choking to death in her apartment."
22. "This is a catch-22, although I don't know for sure because I refuse to read literature that questions the morality of war."
23. "I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall."
24. "It's freezing and snowing in New York. We need global warming!"
How did you? Let's find out! Scroll down past the random GIFs to see our answer key:
1. Jack Donaghy
2. Donald Trump
3. Donald Trump
4. Jack Donaghy
5. Jack Donaghy
6. Jack Donaghy
7. Donald Trump
8. Donald Trump
9. Jack Donaghy
10. Donald Trump
11. Jack Donaghy
12. Jack Donaghy
13. Jack Donaghy
14. Donald Trump
15. Jack Donaghy
16. Donald Trump
17. Jack Donaghy
18. Donald Trump
19. Jack Donaghy
20. Donald Trump
21. Jack Donaghy
22. Jack Donaghy
23. Donald Trump
24. Donald Trump
So, what did we learn from this quote quiz? Clearly, Jack Donaghy should be Donald Trump's running mate.