Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images
Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images
Donald Trump has been insulting a lot of people lately. Latinos. Prisoners of war. Hillary Clinton. In fact his offensives have become so widespread that there are probably a fair amount of people who are wondering, "Hey! Why not me? Am I not good enough to be insulted by Donald Trump?"
Yes, if you have been feeling insult envy, you're not alone. Being the butt of Donald Trump's jokes actually looks totally fun, mostly because all sorts of people who probably didn't even like you that much to begin with start to come to your defense. Getting insulted by Donald Trump simply invites the public praise in droves. And who doesn't want public praise? Nobody.
All of this is probably why Time decided to create their very own Donald Trump Insult Generator—they're bringing equal opportunity verbal abuse to the masses. You get a slam! You get a slam! Everybody gets a slam!
In the name of journalism, and because I wanted to get in on all the offensive fun too, I gave the generator a bit of a go. It's so easy that even Trump himself could use it; you simply put in your first name and click a button and voilâ! Insults galore. The best part is that all of these jabs come from actual horrible things that Donald Trump has said to people. Seeing my own name attached to these statements was...weird. But also kind of fun! As long as you don't start wondering if the insults are true; then it's not fun anymore.
Below is a sampling of all of the Trump-y insults I received while playing with the generator. Some of them are simply baseless (I'm pretty sure I'm at least as smart as a rock, if not slightly smarter), and some of them hit a little closer to home (do I talk too much? Should I be ashamed of myself? Is Donald Trump in my brain?)
While I try to figure out if Donald Trump is in fact speaking directly to me, read through my hilarious insults and then create some of your own here. And remember: This guy is leading the Republican polls! America.
"Seija did an absolutely horrible job. Seija should be ashamed of himself."
"Seija is a totally overrated clown who speaks without knowing the facts."
"Seija is desperate. No imagination!"
"Love watching Seija fail!"
"Seija's got a lot of problems"
"All Seija does is talk."
"Seija graduated last in their class—dummy!"
"Seija is a dummy. Just look at Seija's past."
"Seija is truly as dumb as a rock."
"Seija works really hard but just doesn't have it...a total loser!"
"Seija lost most of her money on that run. That's why she carries her own bags now."
"Seija did really poorly on television this morning."
"Liberal clown Seija."
"Goofball atheist Seija never had a chance."