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So...when's the wedding?
That is pretty much the question Lena Dunham has faced from family, friends and fans since the United States Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states, a condition she and her boyfriend and life partner, fun. guitarist Jack Antonoff, 31, had set for themselves when it came to their own intent to tie the knot.
The 29-year-old Girls creator and star, who has a gay sister, had just after the ruling tweeted, ".@jackantonoff Get on it, yo...."
"Right on," he had replied, more than 11 hours later.
In a New Yorker op-ed, published on Friday, Dunham talks about her thoughts on marriage following the Supreme Court decision. She references her childhood "bridal fantasies" and The Little Mermaid (Yes, Ariel leaving her father after getting married will destroy you emotionally). She includes a sketch she drew in the 10th grade of herself wearing a "shredded lace gown and combat boots" on her wedding day.
She also details what she texted her beau after the ruling and the aftermath of the tweet.
"As soon as Jack woke up, I informed him that he 'better not make a fool out of me,' followed by a quick 'LOL,' and then, "But seriously. I'm going to look like a real idiot if we just sit here like losers and keep dating," she wrote. "Then I tweeted, '@jackantonoff get on it, yo,' followed by my immediate and all-consuming regret."
"Jack didn't text back, which is entirely unlike him, and it wasn't until I got home and looked him in the eye that I realized just how little the concept of marriage had been on his mind," she continued. "Partly that's because we were busy, and the ruling caught him by surprise, and his politics were pure and not as self-interested as mine were starting to feel. But partly, I suppose, it's because, as a man, his entire life has not been shaped by a desire for, or a rejection of, a fluffy white dress."
Antonoff responded to her op-ed with two words.
"Very beautiful," he tweeted.
Dunham said that the following weekend, the two attended a wedding in Maine.
"I held Jack's hand and said, 'Let's not talk about marriage for a while, OK?'" she wrote in The New Yorker. "He looked grateful and relieved. I felt unburdened but sad. The subject wasn't particularly loaded for him. It never would be."
Evidently, Dunham says she has not made a final decision about marriage.
"The fact is that wanting everyone to have the right to marry and wanting to be married are two very different things. Wanting eternal love and wanting a sit-down dinner with all of your family and frenemies are different things, too," she wrote, adding, "But it turns out that what I was waiting for was not the chance to marry but the chance to think about marriage on an even playing field, in a world where its relevance is a little harder to question and its essence a little harder to reject."